top 5 tuesday

Things to do instead of homework

5. sleep
4. eat
3. watch Food Network
2. work out
1. play Guess Who

signs of cultural implosion VI

That people actually road trip to Forks, that there isn't a Burgerville near Seattle, that Cat Cora continues to be an Iron Chef, Katy Parry's career, that an Irish-ish bar was not packed on St. Paddy's Day, Ann Coulter, the fact that George Takei is in a movie called "Ninja Cheerleaders" which takes place at Strip Palace, that pants that are uncomfortably tight are a "trend," shirtordresses, sweaterdresses, Starbucks instant coffee, that some DQs don't serve chicken strips and gravy, that anyone goes to DQ not intending to purchase a Blizzard, that DQ couldn't sell Blizzards made with frozen yogurt in a country with an obesity rate like ours, the fact that there aren't any non-organic bananas at QFC, that flirting with a waiter and having a lot of cleavage sometimes doesn't get you free drinks (Brunhilda's note: stfu), the new Facebook layout, that we need a website called tightsarenotpants.com because some people evidently don't know that yet, the fact that "Merlin and the War of the Dragons" is a movie, the fact that KMPS is the number-one radio station in Seattle, the fact that I--Brunhilda--am ahead of the curve pop-music wise, that whole shows exist about hairstyling.

things our grandmother believes

That each person in this family has one interest that serves as an acceptable impetus for gift-giving.

Brunhilda: scarves
the Cute One: orange cats
our father: the Simpsons
our mother: Reese's peanutbutter cups

You can see who's making out best every Christmas.

random facts

Being sick makes it really, really difficult to sleep.

cultural commentary

(from Jezebel.com 3/23/09, "Badvertising")

"Lindsay Lohan's Fornarina ad has the production values of an 8-bit animated Bulgarian public TV kids show. From 1981. There are disembodied lips, and Lindsay barks in the flattest delivery since Keanu in Point Break."

rhetorical questions

How many roads must a man walk down before they can call him a man?

laudable lyrics

"'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter, and my daddy said, 'stay away from Juliet.'"

thanks for the super logically connected lyrics, and the completely nonsensical literary reference, Taylor Swift

cultural commentary

(from New York Magazine 3/23/09)

"The Internet: A Bad Idea After All.
"In a "Shouts and Murmurs" piece in today's New Yorker, Woody Allen uses the acronym “O.M.G.”"

lessons I learned the hard way

58. No one else cares about German geography, how you say [words] in German, the coach of the German national soccer team (or its keeper), or random shit you saw in Germany. In fact, most people are not even terribly interested in your life in Germany, even if you can point to your town on a map featured in a major motion picture.

things our grandmother believes

That your basic, fundamental character is essentially unchanged since you were six years old.

things I care about more than what you're saying III

The requirements for getting into North Dakota State University, Merlin and the War of the Dragons, scarf-tying techniques, non-twine package tying products, how hot your calves look in your new heels, geography of ancient China, similarly-the geography of modern China, the super-hot girl/guy you met in the bar the other night but didn't exchange contact info with, your sexual fantasies if I am not in a sexual relationship with you, Freud, centripetal v. centrifugal motion, physics, smelting techniques, your mom's secret ingredients for mac and cheese, affected British accents, anecdotes from Kindergarten, dental hygiene, the occasional use of thee and thou in a movie, basket-weaving techniques, the many treatments for cold sores and/or yeast infections (and foot fungus), hypothetical breeds of dragon, what you would have "totally done better" if you were performing that floor routine/filming that movie/writing that novel even though you've never done any of those things well enough to be at a level other people would critique, anything related to accountancy.

top 5 tuesday

Seattle radio stations

5. 93.3 (because the on-air personalities are way less annoying than some alternatives)
4. 94.5 (for playing popular music minus the commercials)
3. 90.9 (for having a way better mix than most)
2. 89.5 (for having new stuff before anyone else and having good online listening options)
1. 95.7 KJR (for consistent goodness and a high ratio of Heart to other stuff)

Honorable mentions go to 92.5 because I know a kid who works there, 104.5 for sometimes playing actual oldies, 97.7 for playing good classic rock, and 96.5 except for its obnoxious promos.

favorite things

Rick Steves, the Czech Republic, fmylife.com, group power class at the community center, guacamole

laudable lyrics

"My life would suck without you."

courtesy of Kelly Clarkson

lessons I learned the hard way

57. You actually don't get any more motivated the longer you sit around.