Saturday, January 31, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

44. reasonable amount of sleep > 4 hours

Friday, January 30, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

43. Wet nail polish is really, really easy to screw up. Say, by typing.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

jobs I would not want

Sears Portrait Taking Technician with a specializing in Childhood and Baby Portraits

For every one kid who is good and giggly and cute you have approximately 93 who are whiny and cry and require every squeaky, rattly, colorful toy in the arsenal in order to make them smile once so you can get a photo.
Also they never stay where you put them and more than likely you'll get barfed on or your set will get pooped on.

Thanks ITT Tech for preparing me for the real world.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

laudable lyrics

"She likes my tone, my cologne, and the way I bone."

courtesy of Snoop and JT

random facts

No matter how cool you think plate tectonics and tsunamis are...geology is just rocks and you have to learn about them
which is boring

Monday, January 26, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

42. Sometimes written communication doesn't convey the same subtlety as real life conversation. Particularly when readers lack analytical skills and/or comprehension skills.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

41. The benefit and drawback of exercise classes at the gym is that you work way harder than you'd have worked on your own.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

random facts

Egg donation strikes me as a good way to make a lot of money.

Friday, January 23, 2009

jobs I would not want

Jezebel Comment Moderator

Because some of those women (and men, I guess) are bitches.

And they have a large sense of entitlement about their preferred web playground.

It would be like being the recess lady for bigger, ruder, anonymous kids.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

favorite things

lamb, sticky notes, holding hands, over-sized sweaters

Monday, January 19, 2009

quotes of our father

[re: spaghetti squash]:

"I like to cook it with a little brown sugar and some olive oil in the oven at 350 degrees for about thirty minutes, then I take it out, dump it in the garbage, and order a pizza."

[uncontrollable laughter, from him, commenced roughly around the phrase "dump it out"]

Brunhilda responded: "Thought that was funny before you finished saying it, eh?"

lessons I learned the hard way

40. A little 151 goes a long way...a very, very long way

Friday, January 16, 2009

random facts

MTV shows like Made make you question the value of humanity.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

under-appreciated potential superpower

Think about how useful it would be to be able to


I am currently trapped in the cycle of laundry, deciding what gets washed and what can wait because I am cheap and dorm laundry machines are expensive. It also turns out that the dryer's aren't efficient so they need to go through twice or so which is annoying because it takes an hour to begin with.
Think of being able to snap your fingers and have all your clothes washed, dryed, ironed, folded and smelling good instantly. It'd be a huge time saver AND good for the environment.
Super power? Yes
Under-appreciated? Totally

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

39. You get really hungry when you work out.

Monday, January 12, 2009

jobs I would not want

Skating Rink Employee

Because nothing would suck worse than watching twelve year olds in faux-skater hoodies flirt all night every night. Couples skate would be so embarrassing. And the speed skate, wherein all the boys would try to impress the middle-school-aged girls, would be awful.


Sunday, January 11, 2009

random facts

Dane Cook isn't good looking but is occassionally kind of funny

Thursday, January 8, 2009

things I thought were impossible

10. That I would one day be able to drive safely in weather.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

random facts

There are more tattoos per capita on the West coast than elsewhere in the United States.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

top 5 tuesday

bitchy women in Real Housewives of Orange County

5. Lynne's other daughter
4. Jeana
3. Lynne's daughter Raquel
2. Tamra
1. Vicki

But the amount that Vicki is bitchy over the number two bitchiest woman on the list is enormous. Exponential. Huge.

top 5 tuesday

Top 5 Tuesday: Things I laugh at

5. drunk texts
4. xkcd
3. My sister, Bruno
2. Kittens doing funny things
1. Rock of Love 3: Bus


stupid jokes

"Hey should we get to a vet?" [flash biceps] "Because these puppies are sick!"

Monday, January 5, 2009

random facts

23 > 22

Sunday, January 4, 2009

learn something new today

"Carpaccio is a dish of raw beef, veal or tuna traditionally thinly sliced or pounded thin served as an appetizer."

random facts

Watching the Food Network, Brunhilda does not understand any words being said.

lessons I learned the hard way

38. Shoes that are comfortable for walking and sitting are not necessarily going to remain comfortable after four hours of dancing.

guess the show

An aging rocker (who is desperately trying to hide that he is balding) invites 20 women into his home to compete for his affection. Some are strippers. Lots of platform heels, dyed hair/weaves, mini dresses, fake boobs and, of course, tramp stamps. There are dramatic elimination ceremonies in which women have crying exit interviews and always say "I just don't understand why he would do this to me." He eventually chooses one of the less skanky women only to return for another season eight months later.

cultural commentary

(from New York Magazine, 9/5/08, as a preface to a slide show of hot pictures of the subject, by Chris Rovzar and Jessica Pressler):

"It's been a full 48 hours since we last gushed about Levi "Sex on Skates" Johnston. We were going to try to make it through the whole weekend, but seeing him in the audience at the Republican National Convention last night was just too much to bear. He wasn't even chewing gum this time! That chin! That freshly cropped boy hair! He is truly in the most glorious peak of a high-school athlete's hot period. Sure, shortly after he graduates he will get a beer gut and lose those curls. In a few short years he'll be nearly unrecognizable! (We know that's harsh, but think back to all those boys who wore white college hats in your high-school days. Are they hot now? Or did the same thing happen to them that happened to Vince Vaughn?)"

Saturday, January 3, 2009

under-appreciated potential superpowers

magical metabolism

Because you could metabolize both food and alcohol and not suffer ill consequences! And that would make the holidays truly bright.

Friday, January 2, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

37. A little Jack in the Box goes a long way.

quotes of our father

When asked what he would do if a guy asked for Brunhilda's hand in marriage.

"Maybe you should talk to her about that."

Thursday, January 1, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

36. No matter how much you like being single, you'll really start to hate it when stuck in a large group of couples.