Tuesday, December 22, 2009

top 5 tuesday

shows I wish I was watching right now

5. Monk
4. Psych
3. the Simpsons
2. 30 Rock
1. L&O: SVU

and by that I mean not whatever the Cute One is making me watch right now.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

top 5 tuesday

best worst Christmas songs

5. that Destiny's Child one
4. Christmas in the Northwest - whoever that's by
3. Where Are You Christmas - Faith Hill
2. Merry Christmas Darling - the Carpenters
1. Christmas Shoes - Newsong

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

top 5 tuesday

Christmas songs

5. Feliz Navidad - Jose Feliciano
4. Last Christmas - Jimmy Eat World*
3. A Christmas To Remember - Dolly and Kenny
2. All I Want For Christmas - Mariah
1. Last Christmas - Wham!

*but ignore that video unless you're really jonesing to hear this song

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

top 5 tuesday

Thanksgiving foods

5. wine
4. turkey
3. cider
2. mashed potatoes
1.5 gravy
1. stuffing

top 5 tuesday

Thanksgiving Foods

5. Pie!
4. Mashed potatoes
3. Cranberry sauce
2. Turkey (duh)
1. Crescent rolls

Monday, November 23, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

107. The more time you spend on stuff not your paper, the less time you have to spend on your paper.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

favorite things

friend Thanksgiving, stuffing, mashed potatoes, wine, sunshine for driving in

Friday, November 20, 2009

Thursday, November 19, 2009

back-door bragging

[via the Cute One]

I have to keep a planner on hand since people are always trying to make plans with me, I don't want to double schedule myself and leave someone horribly disappointed.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

rhetorical questions

What the what?

lessons I learned the hard way

106. Classes are only interesting if you have some general knowledge of the subject material, which might have been gleaned by like, doing the reading.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

top 5 tuesday

Favorite Disney movies:

5. Sleeping Beauty
4. Little Mermaid
3. Pocahontas
2. Beauty and the Best
1. Lion King

top 5 tuesday

best Disney movies:

5. Aladdin
4. Lilo and Stitch
3. Sleeping Beauty
2. Beauty and the Beast
1. Little Mermaid

But I also really like Mulan. And Return of Jafar. That's a good one.

Monday, November 16, 2009

random facts

Bears eat beets. Bears, beets, Battlestar Gallactica.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

105. Check the weather before you walk across campus with your laptop in a non-water proof bag because it may or may not being to rain like hell when you need to get home.

under-appreciated potentail superpowers

Super Accurate Weather Prediction Skills

Weatherpeople are usually pretty good at their jobs but sometimes, and by sometimes I mean pretty damn often, they say it "may rain" or it "might be windy" and what happens is "a downpour like Noah's flood" and "the wind will more or less be like you're caught in the tornado." So yeah, I would like to know if a sweatshirt will be appropriate or if I need an ark to get to class in.
Also this way I would never go driving when it is going to snow.

Friday, November 13, 2009

favorite things

blustery days, thunder storms, the smell of fresh laundry, cloud banks lit by the sunset or the moon

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

104. The Albertson's brand discount potato chips are not in any way delicious, no matter how hungry or drunk you are.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

favorite things

bread pudding from Sweet Life, red velvet from Hello Cupcake, sorbet from Molly Moon's, $2.85 sundaes on Tuesdays at Prince Pückler's, pink frosted cookies, cranberry limeade

cultural commentary

[via NYMag's Daily Intel, 5 Nov 09]:

"Some Republicans Confused About Their Feelings Toward Sarah Palin: A new Gallup poll measuring the support for potential GOP candidates for president in 2012 shows unsuccessful 2008 candidates Mike Huckabee and Mitt Romney leading the way, with Sarah Palin coming in a close third. Oddly enough, while 65 percent of Republicans said they would seriously consider voting for Palin, only 58 percent said she was qualified to be president."

Sunday, November 8, 2009

guess the show

A passionately opinionated, vaguely angry woman with a snazzy bob and a sensationalistic bent comments on news issues during her show on a major cable news network as if her opinions ("child rapists are bad," "beating your wife is bad," "kidnapping is bad") are somehow controversial.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

cultural commentary

[via Runner's World Daily Views, 10/27/09]:

"An article in today's New York Times poses an interesting question, asking (implicitly): Should young kids run marathons?

The article is very well done, and includes anecdotes from several adults who ran marathons when they were, say, 8 or 9 years old, apparently with no ill effects. (In fact, judging from the jobs these kids went on to have, they've done very well. Apparently every 8-year-old who ran a marathon in the '70s went on to become an astronaut-lawyer, or Pope or something.)

It also quotes doctors who say, in essence, "Meh, sure, let your kid run a marathon. What do I care?"

So, it's a nice article. With all due respect to the newspaper of record, however, I believe they're asking the wrong question here. The real question is: Should adults run marathons?"

Friday, November 6, 2009

learn something new today

The new season of Top Chef is awesome.

lessons I learned the hard way

103. It's harder to con someone into doing your library research for you when your particular subject librarian is out on maternity leave.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

102. "I'll sprechen sie your Duestch" is not a pick up line that will ever work on anyone.

back-door bragging

"It's hard for me to listen to the radio teen advice show because I'm so much smarter and less douchey than the advice fellow."

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

things that I thought were impossible

26. something uglier than Bruno

under-appreciated potential superpowers

hyper self-in-space awareness

You'd always know when people were close to you, and possibly be able to avoid being mugged etc., plus also it might potentially make you a better dancer.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

top 5 tuesday

obvious results of too much education in my life

5. strident, angry feminism
4. critically skeptical reactions to television shows and movies
3. a consistent lack of sleep
2. the frequency with which I get offended by people in the media (mostly this guy)
1. exasperated comments about culture being "heteronormative"

back-door bragging

I don't like to play drinking games since I always win, and I don't like to make my friends feel even worse about themselves.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

cultural commentary

[NYMag, 30/10/09]:

"Wes Anderson [wonders,] 'why was Slumdog a hit and not Darjeeling?':

It's a question that's vexed film scholars for over a year: What is to account for the bizarre embrace of Danny Boyle's crowd-pleasing 2008 fairy tale Slumdog Millionaire — about a charming, penniless Mumbai orphan's miraculous game-show victory — by a world that, only a year before, spurned Wes Anderson's critically tolerated The Darjeeling Limited, about a trio of overentitled narcissists who drug and screw their way through India, indifferent to anyone's problems but their own? So mysterious!"

Saturday, October 31, 2009

favorite things

Halloween, jack-o-lanterns, reusing dance costumes, the Comstock, holiday eyeshadow

Friday, October 30, 2009

jobs I would not want

school counselor

Whereas I used to think being a counselor or psychologist would be pretty sweet, I now realize that it would involve dealing with people (specifically children) crying pretty much on a daily basis. And if there's anything I hate more than snot, it's children. Also crying. And also other people's problems.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

learn something new today

Kenneth Burke's method of reading and criticizing literature is too broad for you to write a 12-15 page term paper about. But it can also be summed up briefly in a class discussion or website.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

random facts

Somewhere along the line when she was least expecting it, Brunhilda came to strongly enjoy the literary stylings of Ernest Hemingway.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

top 5 tuesday

things that are good about this week

5. Wakefields!
4. seeing Sars and LP!
3. movie with Jenni!
2. Kim's bday party bus!
1. Halloween!

Monday, October 26, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

101. Society hates women.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

back-door bragging

"I have to be very careful when I choose a song to be my ringtone, because I know I'll be hearing it 20-30 times per day."

Saturday, October 24, 2009

favorite things

MIKE BIRBIGLIA

things I thought were impossible

25. To take five shots of Patron in an hour and still be standing and speaking coherently.

Friday, October 23, 2009

how we do

Bruno (re: facebook's ability to display your siblings): WHY DON'T YOU SHOW OUR SIBLINGHOOD?
tCO: You're so needy.
Bruno: Your face is needy.

guess the show

A group of misfit geeky kids and their living-vicariously adviser seek to make their activity club successful, much to the displeasure of a rival activity coach, eventually recruiting some less-misfit kids and featuring, every episode, some suspiciously-well-choreographed-and-arranged musical numbers.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

favorite things

throwback edition:

pointe shoes, 98 Degrees, butterfly clips, white eye liner, frosted lip gloss, BDA

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

back-door bragging

I feel like it's unfair for me to be in the front during dance class, because people are tempted to watch me instead of learning the combination for themselves.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

top 5 tuesday

most important elements in my wardrobe

5. purple pleather sash
4. Northface
3. H&M shorts
2. black reefs
1. Kennedy Science Club sweatshirt

Monday, October 19, 2009

signs of cultural implosion IX

People not knowing about how amazing Ratatat is, the posters and protesters carrying signs of President Obama with a Hitler mustache, trendy hipster names for children (evidently Hazel is one), that hipster is no longer counter culture or in any way hip, this tee shirt, math, boys wearing tight pants but also sagging them, people not enjoying scones of any sort or jam of any sort, Fox News, how similar Disney radio and the Top 40 station are these days, the percentage of people who came to Bumbershoot just to hear the Black Eyed Peas, photo collages not sticking to the goddamn wall even though you put a bunch of adhesives on the back and stuck it up where it should have stayed, bikini baristas, Jay Leno at 10 PM every night, beer with lime and salt already added, light beer with lime and salt already added, the euphemism "irregular" for digestive issues in yogurt commercials, "smizing."

Sunday, October 18, 2009

things that should be illegal

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much eyeliner

random facts

You can say anything you want and get away with it if you end all your potentially-offensive statements with "I'm not judging, I'm just saying." No arguing with that!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

100. It rains a lot in Washington and wearing a sleeveless dress is not a great idea.

learn something new today

Olympic National Park, on the Peninsula (that thing across the sound, you idiots), includes a temperate rain forest, including the Hoh Rain Forest and Quinault Rain Forest, the wettest area in the continental United States.

(Contrary to what random drunk dude at Jackalope bar thinks, not all of Washington and Oregon and Northern California are rainforest; wikipedia told me so.)

Friday, October 16, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

99. The Cute One's font color is this shade of green, not this shade of green. Whoops.

things I care about more than what you're saying VII

The anachronisms in tween historical romance novels, the entire collected work of Kenneth Burke, the shades of white that our mother is painting the interior house, what Jacques Derrida would have said about MySpace, the pros and cons of different pancakes mixes (I do almost actually care about this), headband styles, math, the play by play of your Farmville adventure, paint drying, darning socks, the etymology of the names of French towns, what drunk people do when they're sober, cute guys before they were cute or after they become un-cute, legging fashion, Six Degrees of Twilight, how you got that gnarly scar on your arm, any and all funny texts you receive, the best way to apply postage stamps, the energy consumption of light bulbs, how you came up with your "awesome" slash fanfiction mashup of Twilight and Harry Potter and where you're going to take the next installment, what you and your mom do in order to bond, burps and/or farts, inorganic chemical compounds.

random facts

No matter how awesome it may seem or how fun it sounds, keeping a puppy in the dorms is not okay and will get you in trouble because those things are hard to conceal.

I'm just saying.

lessons I learned the hard way

98. Coffee tumblers do not generally have auto-screw-on lids; usually this is a task you're required to do yourself, lest you spill scalding hot coffee all over your sweatshirt, bag, and flesh.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

favorite things

dresses, Play-Doh, thunder storms, scones

cultural commentary

[via NYmag via NYP]:

"According to administration officials at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, New York, drinking games like beer pong have been linked to the spread of the H1N1 virus. Drinking from shared cups — even medically sanitary red Solo ones! — is apparently a surefire way to pass swine flu, and several students at the school seem to have contracted it that way. This is great. As if we weren't bad enough at beer pong, now we have the threat of a debilitating illness with every cup we lose to the other team. [NYP]"

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

guess the show

A super good looking early thirty-something dude who has never held down a job in his life, and his life-long best friend (an also super good looking dude) who is a pharmaceutical representative, start up a private psychic detective agency and help the police solve mysteries and catch killers. The first super good looking dude has been trained by his father (an ex-cop) to be hyper observant and he plays off that ability as psychic powers. The two friends quip non-stop, creating much hilarity, and often scream like small children at the sight of bodies, killers, mummies and spiders. There is a pineapple in every episode.

Also, Brunhilda may or may not have seen one of the actors around Seattle.

under-appreciated potential superpowers

context rememberization

Being able to recall where specifically you read/learned/heard something, like, say, the particular page number on which a fact appeared in that book you skimmed for class, so you could call it to someone else's attention, or just re-find it and learn enough about it to make a comment about it, would be really, really useful.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

top 5 tuesday

(Recent) Bad Choices

5. Napping instead of studying
4. Not have a TV in my dorm room
3. Forgetting shower shoes (eew)
2. Not budgeting
1. Drinking a Starbucks Double Shot at 10.30 PM

top 5 tuesday

awesomest things about autumn

5. haunted houses
4. pumpkin patches
3. maize mazes (aka ma(i)zes)
2. Kim's birthday
1. Halloween!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Sunday, October 11, 2009

back-door bragging

[via me]
I hate speaking up in class because everyone else sounds so stupid by comparison.

things that should be illegal

Posh ever losing in a "who wore it better" poll on any forum, ever.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

97. It is RIDICULOUSLY hard to motivate yourself when you're at college and the options are "napping" and "other stuff"

random facts

Sports teams at schools I attend are generally really, really good. Just because I'm such good luck.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

things our grandmother believes

10. That no matter how many other grandmothers you have (and no matter how many of them already go by "Grandma"), and no matter how not-technically-blood-related she is to you, and no matter how old you are, it is deeply, personally insulting to her if you call her by her first name.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

jobs I would not want

post-tailgate parking lot cleaner

Based on how the parking lot around Autzen stadium looked the morning after the WSU slaughter, I contend that this would be the world's worst job. And I suspect it is unpaid.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

top 5 tuesday

best Mariah songs

(potential controversy ahead!)

5. Heartbreaker
4. Someday
3. Obsessed
2. We Belong Together
1. All I Want For Christmas Is You

Monday, October 5, 2009

favorite things

30 Rock, my couch, Kim Danko, my dad, walks, cookies

Sunday, October 4, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

96. No one magically does your school work for you while you're busy traipsing around Eugene with your Father.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

quotes of our father

[while Brunhilda was sampling coffee at the Starbucks VIA taste test]:

Brunhilda: "This one."

Our father: "Surprise! You chose the cup of llama sweat!"

Friday, October 2, 2009

random facts

A good name for recaps of Glee would be Gleecaps.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

favorite things

yoga pants, throw pillows, coffoco, bump-it spotting, OnDemand, the Blue Thunder

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

things that should be illegal

stupid flapping Beaver flags on the stupid dumb cars of stupid Beaver fans

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

top 5 tuesday

college football teams I like:

UO

That is all.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Sunday, September 27, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

95. You are not allowed to make a left turn into my apartment complex on football game days. Also the freeway exit closes.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

94. Rewarding yourself with breaks for any and all progress made academically results in very little continued progress.

Friday, September 25, 2009

rhetorical questions

Where oh where can my baby be?

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

back-door bragging

It's hard for me to get motivated about homework because I know I can earn great grades with minimal effort.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

top 5 tuesday

things that are cool about the Cute One

5. she has very pretty hair
4. she is good at driving long distances
3. she is good at moving things
2. she is very funny
1. today is her birthday

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

top 5 tuesday

top 5 events/activities I will miss about Seattle

5. Bumbershoot weekend
4. lakes
3. Seafair weekend
2. the fair
1. Casual Fridays

Sunday, September 13, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

93. No matter how late at night it is or how drunk you are, eating half a pizza is never a low-calorie activity.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

things I thought were impossible

24. That a woman wearing sequined leggings out to a dive bar would go home alone.

By which I mean without a man, not literally alone.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

things that should be illegal

Co-buying seasons of shows on DVD with your sister, then both of you moving away so you have to sneak the seasons into your stuff so you get them instead of her.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

top 5 tuesday

Shakespeare plays to see

5. Midsummer's Night Dream
4. Richard III
3. As You Like It
2. Romeo and Juliet
1. Macbeth

top 5 tuesday

stuff I make when I live alone

5. veggies in a sandwich
4. vegetable soup
3. potato flakes
2. ramen
1. ramen with veggies

Monday, September 7, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

92. Check the orientation of your underpants before you put them on...because you may accidentally put them on weird and not notice until you are out in public...then it is awkward.

cultural commentary

[NYMag 8/26/09, re: American Idol]:

"So far, the announced Paula-replacing guest judges for American Idol's upcoming ninth season (Posh Spice, Joe Jonas, Katy Perry) have lacked both expertise in legit musical theater and a middle name. So, obviously, it pleases us to learn that Neil Patrick Harris sat in on yesterday's Dallas auditions."

Saturday, September 5, 2009

how we do

Bruno: Your Pandora stations, according to our father's computer, are: Metallica Radio, Feist Radio, Sufjan Stevens Radio, Death Cab Radio, Fleet Foxes Radio, Naked as we Came Radio, Bloc Party Radio, and... Backstreet Boys Radio. I just feel like the public needs to know this about you.

Friday, September 4, 2009

back-door bragging

I hate being so popular and having to empty out my phone's text inbox since it only holds 300 texts at a time

back-door bragging

"That's so cute that you get to sit around and wonder if a guy likes you; I guess since I always already know they do, I don't get the fun of wondering about it."

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

favorite things

this cake, rainbow chip frosting, iced tea, lemons, sorbet, berries

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

back-door bragging

[via yours truly]

"It'll be hard to choose a honeymoon destination because I've already been so many cool places."

top 5 tuesday

traits I look for in a man

5. basketball-playing ability
4. tallness
3. curiosity
2. willingness to put up with yours truly
1. height

back-door bragging

"Primping looks like so much fun, but I've never really gotten into it because I just don't need to do it."

Monday, August 31, 2009

cultural commentary

[NYMag 8/26/09]:

"Despite the fact that Russell Brand is set to host the 2009 Video Music Awards, we're still having trouble mustering up anything resembling genuine enthusiasm for the ceremony. That's not to say we're not excited to see that this year's show will be broadcast live from Radio City Music Hall instead of a high-school gymnasium, like last year's ceremony, but our tolerance for the possible pleasure of seeing some sort of celebrity spectacle go down is outweighed by our general distaste for MTV's annual attempt to pretend it still has some semblance of music cred. Also, how exactly does the network expect us to give a rat's ass when Major Lazer didn't even get any nominations? Well, we'll tell you! The promotions group put together this thematically disjointed clip of some of today's most popular artists — some talented (Taylor Swift, Ne-Yo), some not (Katy Perry, Cobra Starship) — singing and dancing along to a hastily rewritten version of "Tonight" from the legendary musical West Side Story. We're just thankful that Leonard Bernstein isn't alive to hear what they've done to his song."

Sunday, August 30, 2009

things that should be illegal

the kinds of bangs the CO and I had as children

Saturday, August 29, 2009

things I thought were impossible

23. That one could shamelessly order and consume a slice of pizza at 2:20 AM while walking to another late-night pizzeria to order and eat an entire medium pizza.

(The shamelessly part is the part I thought was impossible, if that wasn't clear.)

Friday, August 28, 2009

random facts

Will Arnett plays creepy really, eerily well.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

favorite things

lakes, squishies, the Simpsons, meandering, neon pink nail polish, pirogi

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

learn something new today

The echidna is one of only two mammals that lays eggs. Also, it is super bizarre.

jobs I would not want

masseuse

Not because it's an inherently bad career--in fact, I know some people who quite like it--but because I have this thing about touching and being touched. Also back hair.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

top 5 tuesday

TV Networks

5. NBC (only for 30 Rock and the Office and a couple other shows)
4. Comedy
3. Food
2. Discovery (especially during Shark Week)
1. USA

top 5 tuesday

channels on television

5. Food
4. VH1
3. Bravo
2. HGTV
1. USA

and NBC, during certain select hours but not most of the time

Monday, August 24, 2009

jobs I would not want

Host of a celebrity gossip show

I would have to know all the inane crap about self-absorbed famous people. Then I would have to seem excited when one of them poops out another brat and names it Beijing or Pietermartizburg or Kabul or New Delhi because they've already used all the pretty European city names.
Then I would have to get my teeth whitened to a point where I can use them like a disco ball if the one in a club is out of commission and tan to the point people start asking if I am ethnic or just wearing a full bodysuit made of leather.
Also, I would have some peppy cohost in a color coordinated outfit and an IQ level equal to that of a two-week-old mango.

Eew.

things I thought were impossible

22. A spring-quarter course at the U of dub continuing into August.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

favorite things

board games, totchos, queso, nicknames, TV on DVD

under-appreciate potential superpowers

I feel like these days, with the current economic strife, a great potential super power would be the ability to be a more appealing candidate for any job opening. Whether the other people smell funny, have weird eye-twitches, or got arrested for drug trafficking, you end up looking awesome in comparison.
What a great super power!

random facts

I hate the experimental psychological defenses in the order part of L&O.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

back-door bragging

I hate being such a great cook because it means people always want to come see me and have me cook for them

rhetorical questions

Didn't we set the nights on fire?
Did ever a flame burn any higher?
Wasn't it so sweet, wasn't it?
Didn't we love?

Friday, August 21, 2009

things I thought were impossible

21. Rediscovering your love of a television show you already watch all the time

random facts

I love Alison.


(Yes, CO, your Alison.
Mostly because of her influence on you.)

Thursday, August 20, 2009

random facts

I come from a land down under!

back-door bragging

Sometimes it's hard for me to talk about my accomplishments because I don't want to make my friends feel bad.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

91. Driving is not made easier by doing it for a great length of time

stupid jokes

What did the ocean say to the shore?

Nothing, he just waved.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

top 5 tuesday

Things I would rather be doing

5. Napping
4. Eating ice cream
3. Playing Apples to Apples or Guess Who
2. Driving or walking around Tacoma
1. Making Bruno buy me cupcakes

top 5 tuesday

shit I consider vital in an apartment, in order

5. non-shittiness of landlord/lease terms
4. size relative to my shit
3. amenities (like, say, parking and laundry)
2. price relative to my life
1. location relative to campus

favorite things

swimming pools, Kate Spade, coffee, espresso, camping, camping where coffee is readily available

Monday, August 17, 2009

random facts

it ain't nothin' but a G thang, baby

lessons I learned the hard way

90. It is surprisingly difficult to find an apartment in a city where you are physically not.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

back-door bragging

If I weren't so witty, I wouldn't always have to wait for people to stop laughing between telling jokes

how we do

the Cute One:
or you could ask me if I prefer Tommy or Brad as the leader of the Power Rangers
Tommy is the answer
even though he is the green/white ranger
and whatshisface is the red
I still like Tommy better

11:30pm Brunhilda:
explain

11:31pm the CO:
Tommy is super zen and highly badass
he wins the martial arts competitions, the sky-diving competition and he kisses Kimberly, the hot and useless Pink ranger
his Zord is a fucking godzilla
who can dislike him?

Saturday, August 15, 2009

things that should be illegal

commercials featuring talking, anthropomorphized warts

Friday, August 14, 2009

things that should be illegal

Someone too large to fit in their single airplane seats getting actively angry at their seatmate for taking up his/her single assigned seat, into which he/she was hoping to comfortably spill.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

guess the show

Stupid, marginally-military-related annoying people investigate crimes that take place on or near or related to the sea (or something equally lame), usually exactly during the time you'd really prefer to be watching Law and Order: SVU.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

random facts

Man v. Food makes me want to barf.

favorite things

SVU-athons, Apples to Apples, the Brotus, Zoos

signs of cultural implosion VIII

The comment "that's a pretty good movie!" w/r/t Amanda Bynes' "She's the Man", the popularity of the song Boom Boom Pow, tourism commercials for the "city" of Enumclaw, the careers of any and all Baldwins not Alec, a second season of "Real Chance at Love," casinos being marketed as opportunities for financial and relationship success, WWE, an outlet mall without a J. Crew, people not enjoying Guess Who, the lack of belugas at our local zoo, encountering shitty croissants, that 30 Rock is not the most popular show on television, how gross Runts candy are, people not enjoying Arrested Development, the apparent lack of good burritos in parts of the US, the attitudes espoused by the kids on NYC Prep, Hot Topic, magical realism, people not wanting to go to a baseball game where cheap seats are only 8 dollars, the lack of James Roday in my life, nose and boob jobs given as high school graduation gifts, Casey Novak, that the Cute One and I know more about the characters on SVU than about most of our friends and family members.


Tuesday, August 11, 2009

top 5 tuesday

Better Best Animals to View At The Zoo!

5. Elephants!
4. Giraffes!
3. Tigers!
2. Gorillas!
1. TAPIRS!!!

top 5 tuesday

best animals to view at the zoo

5. penguins
4. camels
3. elephants
2. polar bears
1. orangutans

Maybe belugas would be on this list if ET the stupid fat walrus hadn't killed one. Also the cartoon-looking fish was a good time. And if there were kittens I would watch them.

lessons I learned the hard way

89. Crushed belugas are difficult to view at the zoo.

things that should be illegal

People agreeing to play Apples to Apples but then falling asleep instead of playing

Monday, August 10, 2009

stupid jokes

What did one wall say to the other?

Meet you at the corner.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

how we do

Bruno: shoomanama ker slamina blort

The Cute One: shurgaurgalorgaburg

Bruno: sloopeydoop ma snah

tCO: kerpablata moonama!

Saturday, August 8, 2009

back-door bragging

[via Brunhilda, last night, re: someone's stupid attempt to make Friday night plans on Friday night]

I'd like to be more spontaneous, but I have so many friends I'm rarely free at the last minute.

back-door bragging

[via The Cute One]

If I weren't so awesome I wouldn't have all these crazy life stories and experiences

Friday, August 7, 2009

favorite things

Discovering that MTV plays Degrassi in the mornings, fresh cut grass, art house movies, Spanish

Thursday, August 6, 2009

how we do

the Cute One:
talk to me about which I find cooler gyrados or dragonite
then I'll be more interesting

11:27pm Brunhilda:
I'm not into Pokemon
so

11:27pm tCO:
the answer is gyrados except it's a pain in the ass to get/train since it only knows splash at first
and dragonite looks like something from a fairy's day dream
lame

11:28pm Brunhilda
god that stupid splash
who ever thought that was cool?
UGH

11:28pm tCO:
it was never cool but gyrados' unevolved form (magikarp) could only ever do splash
which made it a pain to level up
since splash does, like, 10 hit points a turn

11:29pm Brunhilda:
stupid pointless splash
what a waste

11:29pm tCO:
indeed

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

random facts

Brunhilda hates driving in the rain. And it is raining.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

88. There are no un-crowded beaches on Seafair weekend.

Monday, August 3, 2009

stupid jokes

What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt.

back-door bragging

[via Brunhilda]:

"The problem with really being on the cutting edge of fashion is that most people don't recognize your prescience until way later."

Sunday, August 2, 2009

favorite things

spodi, Shark Week, Heart, Golden Gardens, "dates"

things that should be illegal

Sisters playing stupid Mariah Carey songs while Scrubs is on, or while the Food Network is on.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

stupid jokes

I have a knock knock joke, you start

Friday, July 31, 2009

random fact

Our father and I would be really excellent song writers.

quotes of our father

"I think it's over 6000 feet, so the sun up there is really intense.

So are the campers!"

Thursday, July 30, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

87. Kissing a lot of boys who are in the same friend group often creates awkward situations for everyone.

back-door bragging

[via Brunhilda]:

"The problem with being a natural beauty is that even when you go out without makeup, you can't get people to stop noticing how pretty you are."

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

favorite things

hard-boiled eggs, HP+HBP, learning to roll, driving fast

laudable lyrics

"Got you all fired up with your Napoleon complex
See right through you like you’re bathin’ in Windex."

Mariah's songwriters really are masters of the genre.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

top 5 tuesday

Things I miss about college

5. the awesome gym that I could access (if I ever felt like it)
4. my friends
3. the library that reminds me distinctly of Hogwarts
2. the huge lawns to lay out on
1. the independence

top 5 tuesday

things I miss about college

5. having a meal plan
4. free basketball tickets
3. keggers
2. everyone living within walking distance (makes walks of shame SO MUCH easier)
1. Erroll Knight*


*
this is creepy in part because I actually talk to him sometimes.

Monday, July 27, 2009

stupid jokes

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

Nacho cheese!

Sunday, July 26, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

86. I am really bad about remembering the sunscreen lesson.

favorite things

SPACE JAM

favorite things

Deutschland, cheap travel, German boys, winning in poker, Haribo (macht Kinder froh!)

Saturday, July 25, 2009

random facts

Fish and Chips are really good

lessons I learned the hard way

85. Stalking is not a good way to endear yourself to someone.

Friday, July 24, 2009

back-door bragging

[via a friend on fbook, via probably someone else]:

"I wish I had been born rich instead of so good looking."

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

laudable lyrics

"I'm so 3008
You so 2000 and late"

Does that sound a little like they meant to release that song in 2008 and then didn't make it, and thus had to change the year in the lyrics? Yeah. Sounds that way to me, too.

(Also, that's the last one from that song, I promise.)

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

top 5 tuesday

places in which I would like to someday live

5. Greece
4. Hawaii
3. Spain
2. Oregon (more because that's planned than because it's the stuff of dreams, really)
1. München (/Deutschland in general)

Also maybe London, Prahaha, Berlin, Paris, NYC, Chicago, and other fun places. But I prioritized places where siesta is a part of life, as you can see.

(also, fun game: spot the split infinitive!)

Monday, July 20, 2009

back-door bragging

[via Kenneth Parcell]:

"It's hard for me to watch American Idol because there's a waterbug on the channel changer. Wait..."

back-door bragging

[via Jenna Maroney]:

"It's hard for me to watch American Idol because I have perfect pitch."

Friday, July 17, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

84: Brunhilda is an asshole because she flies to Germany randomly because she can.



asshole

under-appreciated potential super power

To understand all languages on earth.

It's like a reverse tower of Babel!
You would be okay no matter where on Earth you accidentally ended up thanks to your spontaneous teleporting abilities which manifested after you fell in that vat of radio-active waste.
Oops.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

back-door bragging

[via the Cute One]:

It's hard for me to find dresses that don't show off my awesome boobs too much.

laudable lyrics

"Them chickens jackin' my swagger
They try copy my swagger
I'm on that next shit now"

Again, well done, Black Eyed Peas.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

back-door bragging

[via Brunhilda]:

"It's hard for me to wear headbands because my hair is so thick and heavy."

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

favorite things

Scrubs, muffins, having good looking guys in my class so I have something to look at when I'm not paying attention, eating brownie batter

top 5 tuesday

races I would like to run

5. Bay to Breakers
4. Torchlight
3. Disneyland half marathon (for the location, not the distance)
2. Beat the Bridge
1. Bolder Boulder

Monday, July 13, 2009

random facts

Sometimes sleep studies ARE necessary and can't just be ignored, Mom

laudable lyrics

"Boom boom boom (yeah)
Boom boom boom (yeah)
Boom boom boom
Boom boom boom"

Masterful, really.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

stupid jokes

Q: Why is it such a good deal to buy used French tanks?

A: They've only been driven backwards!

(You know, because they surrender so much.)

lessons I learned the hard way

83. Just because you got an awesome tan in Croatia last summer does not mean you will just tan again this summer because, remember, you burned HARDCORE last year before it settled into a vague semblance of healthy color. Wear some sunscreen.

things that should be illegal

people who like to be active injuring themselves while doing active things and subsequently being unable to be active for some period of time, particularly permanently

Saturday, July 11, 2009

stupid jokes

Q: What's the most common war injury among French troops?

A: Sunburned armpits.

(You know, from surrendering so much.)

Friday, July 10, 2009

back-door bragging

I am not good at criticizing other people because of my kind and caring nature.

back-door bragging

Welcome to the new feature in which we share the delightfully bratty things we say to indirectly remind everyone how amazing we are while coming off modest. We'd say we're sure you'll like it, but sometimes our brand of humor is too cleverly subtle for widespread public appreciation.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

82. Lunges and running are not necessarily mutually exclusive, but they're also not BFFs.

cultural commentary

[from NYMag, by Chris Rovzar, 6/28/09]:

"From 6 p.m. onward, when the news of Jackson's health crisis began to spread, CNN began to pull ahead of Fox News, eventually clobbering it by a million viewers in the 8 to 11 p.m. hours. Of course, that just might be because people expect some (but not all) of CNN's anchors to have, at one point or another in their lives, actually enjoyed a song by Michael Jackson."

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

things that should be illegal

the USA network playing WWE when people want to watch SVU

also Law and Order: CI, reruns of House I've already seen, and lame movies

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

top 5 tuesday

Other stuff I want in my much cooler and more awesome hypothetical future home

5. Tower and / or observatory
4. Spiral staircase
3. Secret passages
2. Hidden library
1. Beer closet

(I know it's not English but the point is, AWESOME)

top 5 tuesday

Things I want in my future hypothetical house

5. Aprons
4. These measuring cups
3. Wonderful, fancy beds
2. A puppy
1. A motherfucking Kitchen Aid mixer


awesome

lessons I learned the hard way

81. When a dude you haven't talked to lately comes out of the woodwork with flattery and chatty conversation, he always, always just broke up with his girlfriend. His intentions are never, never pure.

top 5 tuesday

stuff I want in my future, hypothetical home

5. low-flush and/or graywater toilets
4. high-water- pressure shower heads
3. comfy chairs all over
2. enormous windows (∴ lots of natural light)
1. a loft

lessons I learned the hard way

80. Injuries do not magically go away when left untreated.

Monday, July 6, 2009

random facts

tweeting about the Jonas Brothers = being followed by the Jonas Bros Twitter fan club
and
tweeting about your rage at Qwest Field's vertical ID policy = being followed by Qwest customer service

Sunday, July 5, 2009

learn something new today

A croquembouche or croquenbouche is a French dessert, a kind of pièce montée often served at weddings, baptisms, and first communions. It is a high cone of profiteroles (choux filled with pastry cream) bound with caramel, and usually decorated with threads of caramel, sugared almonds, chocolate, flowers, or ribbons.

The name comes from the French words 'Croque en bouche' meaning 'crunch in the mouth'.

things I thought were impossible

20. People distinguishing the Pride Parade from a regular ol' Tuesday on Capitol Hill.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

random facts

kitties are SUPER cute, especially when they're fat!

rhetorical questions

Did I do that?

Friday, July 3, 2009

guess the show

A woman famous more or less only for existing (and perhaps sullying her family name) hosts a competition centered around fake-tanned, trendily-dressed young adults without any sense of shame whatsoever competing to... be her best friend (?), based on the incredible success her previous BFFships have had (both in terms of actual friendship and lasting success and fame for the other party), including an ostensibly real one chronicled on a different reality TV show and a fake one on the prior season of this show and also her now-much-less-famous sibling, all of which did not seem to lead to lasting BFFship.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

random facts

This is my new favorite website. It has all the info I could ever need about my favorite topic!

things that should be illegal

the large, drunk guy lip syncing to EVERY song played at the Taste of Tacoma

jobs I would not want

tanning salon attendant

Because the benefits aren't that awesome and the clientele would leave something to be desired. Like, everything. And the pay isn't so great that you couldn't find something less boring and superficial.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

favorite things

Safety Dances, Aloe on a sunburn, Not getting sunburns in the first place,

things that should be illegal

people who do not run not being properly impressed by someone's half-marathon success

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

top 5 tuesday

Ways to spend my hard-given dollars

5. Food
4. Books
3. Dresses
2. Shoes
1. Comic books

top 5 tuesday

ways to spend my limited funds

5. coffoco
4. art supplies
3. grooming and primping products
2. lunch dates
1. beer

Monday, June 29, 2009

things I care about more than what you're saying VI

How fast your phone connects to the internet, how good you are at Scrabble (because she's jealous), your digestive details, what college Hermione is going to, man-on-the-street opinions, the super cool new app you got for your iPhone, the color scheme of your apartment and how it helps purify your chi, the number of inches you lost thanks to DexaTrim, anything related to Casey Novak, Paris Hilton's new BFF, why the Real World Cancun cast members work at Hooters, the photos of you from that camping trip you went on last weekend, just how often you get manicures or pedicures, lies and the lying liars who tell them, that terrible and self-admittedly illegal home renovation show on HGTV that Melissa and her mom and I stumbled upon in a particularly desperate TV-watching hour, the exact shade of dye you use in your hair, random celebrities pubic hair groomic habits, internet forums set up for unusual interests like growing hair as long as possible, the chemical make up of nail polish, just how they figure out what trains go where and when, the different techniques for making reupholstering chairs and sofas, how you eat a sandwich.

favorite things

wine-colored nail polish, SVU marathons, coffoco, lunch with JLove, being finished with that GD race

Sunday, June 28, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

79. The human body was not designed to run 13.1 miles at a time.

random facts

Today is MJ's birthday, and even though she shares initials with Michael Jackson, she is not he.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

things that should be illegal

Storms coming up while you're trying to escape a tiny island on a ferry boat and trapping you for ten minutes while you think you're going to DIE

Friday, June 26, 2009

random facts

you look like a weirdo reading Secret of the Hittites in public

Thursday, June 25, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

78. Walking around in flats and/or sandals is a great way to get dry, cracky feet and that's gross

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

favorite things

30 Rock, dress shopping, the Victoria Secret Semi-Annual Sale (Bras for 20$ !!!), Lanyard making

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

things I thought were impossible

19. Alfred Hitchcock being name-dropped in a rap song

Monday, June 22, 2009

quotes of our father

Brunhilda, while hiking on Mt. Rainier: "Dad, what would we do if the mountain erupted right now?"
Our father: "Run like hell."
Brunhilda: "Do you think we could outrun it?"
Our father: "No, but it'd give us something to do while we waited to die."

Saturday, June 20, 2009

cultural commentary

["Mike Albo Calls for End to Hipster-Bashing, Hideous T-Shirts," NYMag, 6/11/09]:

""For nearly 10 years, hipsters have settled in our energetic, vibrant, slightly mean metropolis: young women with Feist haircuts and droll expressions, wearing bunchy blouses and carrying huge tote bags; pale, tiny-waisted boys wearing skinny-leg jeans, lopsided hair, droopy cardigans and fedoras, also carrying huge tote bags. Hipsters have been accused of decimating the city, chewing away at its delicate coolness like locusts. This may be true, or this may be a false construction, but it’s time we put our grievances aside ... So, hipsters: go ahead and crowd the city in your cute outfits and messy hair. Just smile more often, and maybe stop wearing those deep V-neck tees. They’re gross." Amen. [via NYT]"

Friday, June 19, 2009

learn something new today

What is the best fruit? Find out here.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

under-appreciated potential superpowers

free airfare

Anytime, anywhere, the ability to fly for free. Kind of like what Kirsten has, but for me. That would be a great superpower.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

cultural commentary

[Movieline Newswire, 6/11/09]:

"This Friday, television as we know it will change as all analog broadcasting ceases and the airwaves go digital. Like other major traumatic events in America (natural disasters, terrorism, general elections), most of the country will not be directly affected by the outcome. But with 3 million homes still not ready for the digital transition, the analog anxiety of potentially missing an episode of Wheel of Fortune, Cheaters, or - mon Dieu! - The Bonnie Hunt Show could have disastrous consequences. At least that’s what everyone hopes.

"With little to no data about the telegraph-to-telephone or pony express-to-mailman transitions available to the media, outlets such as USA Today are choosing to err on the side of emotional extremes in predicting the reaction to the impending switchover."

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

top 5 tuesday

things yet to do this summer, in roughly chronological order

5. submit grades
4. run 13.1 miles
3. acquire Costco box of Otter Pops (and eat them)
2. go to Reno
1. go to Deutschland (or maybe some other places, dunno)

learn something new today

Was today a good day? Find out here.

Monday, June 15, 2009

lessons I [almost] learned the hard way

77. Hiking four miles in a wet bikini is a really awesome way to invite a yeast infection into your girl parts.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

cultural commentary

[NYMag, 6/11/09]:

""She's 400 years old and she's the Vampire Queen of Louisiana. She's kind of a cross between Patrick Bateman and Paris Hilton. And she's crazy. She's supposed to be French but since she's 400 years old, they said you don't have to do an accent because they figured she can speak English perfectly well by now." — Evan Rachel Wood on her lesbian vampire on True Blood [via Movieline]"

Saturday, June 13, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

76. Sleep is not only for the weak.

Friday, June 12, 2009

cultural commentary

[Brian Lynch via NYMag via Movieline, 6/8/09]

"How are your minds today? Are they good? Not blown, you say? Do you like them that way? Then my sincerest apologies for THIS...

Tina Fey's 30 ROCK is currently the most acclaimed comedy series on television. It's won numerous Emmys and Golden Globes and I think Pulitzers. Critics and audiences alike love the show and its lovable zany characters, and consider it one of the most original comedies in years.

And I guess it is original...if you've never seen THE MUPPET SHOW. Because, my "friends" (in quotes because I don't know or trust you, please don't be offended), Tina Fey's 30 ROCK is quite obviously ripping off Jim Henson's beloved TV show."

(you should read the whole thing; very convincing!)

Thursday, June 11, 2009

guess the show

A friendly neighborhood man in a cardigan introduces his viewers to the wonderful world behind the model train track as well as all kinds of adventures in their daily lives, such as the inner workings of the crayon factory, during which viewers feel secure and loved and like they're learning.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

random facts

The major difference between my closet and one belonging to a 7-year-old diva is probably that my closet is more colorful. And maybe has more ruffles in it.

lessons I learned the hard way

75. If you don't pack your shit, it's hard to move out

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

top 5 tuesday

Things that have been keeping me from studying

5. watching movies/Loony Tunes
4. Naps
3. Playing Mafia while smoking a hookah while watching the sunset
2. Laziness
1. Taking other exams

top 5 tuesday

girly bathroom products

5. Lush Marilyn
4. Bobbi Brown beach
3. All Soft shampoo and conditioner
2. neon nail polish
1. lemon lotion

Monday, June 8, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

74. you never actually "hit the ground running," as they say.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

73. hiking eight miles is hard.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

72. you always need sunscreen in Hawaii.

Friday, June 5, 2009

things that should be illegal

Not eating KFC when you really, really want some

signs of cultural implosion VII

Hitler Halloween costumes, the term "blipster," the number of countries I have never heard of, that people on a college campus have no idea who James Joyce is, people who lay out in bikinis and tan...in Washington...when it is barely 70 degrees, milkshake flavors that aren't delicious, that kids today don't listen to Phil Collins, the "radio war" between KJR and JackFM, that someone would not jump at the chance to study abroad, that someone who was a young child in the early to mid 90's did not watch or enjoy the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, leashkids, that you can't get tots at Taco Bell anymore, visible tattoos in the workplace, the "trend" of hugging people you don't actually know yet, that I read fmylife.com more than I read the newspaper, that a movie called Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus exists, that the Hills will continue post-LC, the new Strawberry Shortcake, that I don't get to take Latin in the fall because people are assholes and take up all the spots in that class, that makeup companies can charge scores of dollars for "anti-ageing" products that are secretly just sunscreen, that someone could graduate from college cum laude (that's "with honors," folks) and not know Benjamin Franklin was never president.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

71. showering before working out is counter productive

quotes of our father

Our Father: "Where did your new roommate go to school?"
Brunhilda: "Wellesley."
OF: "Oh that's a good school.

"Speaking of lesbians..."

[after a pause for laughter, Brunhilda asks "were you going somewhere with that, or did you just see an opportunity?" OF: "No, really! I was going somewhere with that."]

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

random facts

Scooters are good for scooting

things our grandmother believes

That even though she's allergic to cheese (a dubious claim in the first place), mozzarella, in pizza form, is probably completely okay.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

top 5 tuesdays

Classic Disney Movies I forgot about

5. Dumbo
4. The Sword and The Stone
3. Lady and the Tramp
2. Rescuers
1. Rescuers Down Under

HOLY CRAP I LOVE THESE MOVIES

top 5 tuesday

worst decisions ever

5. loaning that deposed Nigerian prince money
4. my second high school boyfriend
3. having red bull at midnight in a Croatian cave/bar
2. drinking a case of beer before lunch on the float trip
1. suggesting to David's crazy/drunk sister that we finish the champagne table

Monday, June 1, 2009

favorite things

summer weather, bubbles, brightly-colored-plastic picnicware, sprinklers, tanlines, Kokanee

Sunday, May 31, 2009

things I thought were impossible

18. That $12.75/hour would not be enough money to make me do something.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

things I care about more than what you're saying V

Your boyfriend's circumcision status, any other details of his or any other dude's genitalia, anyone's child's digestive tendencies, your facebooks stats (number of photos you're in, number of friends you have, etc), what brand of nail polish you buy, how amazing you are at applying mascara/eyeliner, how you and your friend once wore matching outfits and it was SO funny ha ha (read: Brunhilda's whole life), that lady who invented Spanx, official shades of blonde, that crazy drink you made up but can't exactly remember, your attempts to remember said drink, "musculature," diet versions of delicious things that probably were better left alone, how well you did on midterms, your percent grade in a class, how to raise pet rats, how google really works, the safe nalgenes vs. the non-safe ones, anything about binary notation except that one joke I like, why you're so into Macs, business, beeswax, the secret life of bees.

lessons I learned the hard way

70. There ain't no sunshine when you're gone

Friday, May 29, 2009

guess the show

In this sadly-no-longer-on-TV delight, a man (dude, perhaps, would be more appropriate) takes four ladies (also not an accurate descriptor, for the most part) on a multi-part "date" consisting of a mix of activities and gossip time, during which he winnows his group down to the one he "best connects with" through three evenly-spaced eliminations, even though the audience knows that by that he means "would rather take home after filming."

random facts

putting wine in your nalgene makes all following water taste a little bit like wine...


good thing or bad thing, you decide.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

69. There are only ten weeks in a quarter.

cultural commentary

There is a show on Spike TV called MANswers

one of the questions was "who puts out most? straight, lesbian or bi girls?"

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

random facts

I have developed a Pavlovian response to turning off my car, which is a desperate, immediate need to pee.

things that should be illegal

cliffhangers on episodes of shows I only see occasionally

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

cultural commentary

[Justin Long on taking a job as the Mac Guy, 5/20/09 via NY Mag via People]

"I made the mistake of vocalizing it to a friend. I was like 'Do you think people would lose respect or I'd be a commercial guy or I'd be selling out in any way?' And I'll never forget, my friend who I love goes 'No offense, dude, but what are you selling out? Herbie Fully Loaded? You're not Johnny Depp, all right? So take it easy.' And you need those moments that bring you down to earth."

top 5 tuesdays

warm weather activities to be completed while trapped on campus during a long weekend that everyone has left for

5. lay in the sun and read/nap
4. barbecue with friends
3. go for walks
2. play volleyball and/or frisbee on the lawn
1. eat ice cream (or a slurpee) while discussing favorite brands of beer

Monday, May 25, 2009

under-appreciated potential superpowers

extra-human strength

possibly not under appreciated at all, now that I think about it

Sunday, May 24, 2009

guess the show

A group of four urban dwellers marginally (if at all) more interesting or attractive than you or I goes about their daily business, which is probably not any more interesting than anyone else's, and nothing happens (funny or otherwise).

Saturday, May 23, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

68. It is easier to travel when Kirsten plans everything for you.

Friday, May 22, 2009

things that should be illegal

Nick the Neighbor Kid getting his boating license

Especially since he just admitted on facebook that he has failed the licensing exam five times. And one of his friends gave him cheating tips. Yeah.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

67. It's better to make artichoke dip not from actual, whole, raw artichokes.

cultural commentary

[from NYMag 5/20/09]:

"Remember when The Real World: Brooklyn launched and everyone, including MTV executives, seemed determined to re-brand the show as something other than a dozen or so episodes of drunken hot-tub orgies and meathead fistfights? Yeah, well, you can just go ahead and pretend that little experiment never happened: The Real World: Cancun launches on June 24."

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

rhetorical questions

Is the drawbridge open or closed?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

top 5 tuesday

Delicious Desserts I like to eat

5. crepes
4. Ben&Jerry's Half Baked ice cream
3. warm cookies
2. brownie batter
1. giant cookies covered in ice cream and hot fudge and delicious things like that

Holy shit!

top 5 tuesday

desserts

5. creme brulee
4. gelato
3. tiramisu (the boozy kind)
2. chocolate volcano cake
1. beer

also any combination of ice cream, chocolate product, baked-goods base, caramel sauce, and fruit garnish. And also cheesecake. And espresso.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Saturday, May 16, 2009

laudable lyrics

"My flow so tight and my beat so sick, Chris Brown should get his ass kicked."

At least controversial, hm?

Friday, May 15, 2009

things I care about more

The exciting plot twist in your favorite TV show, any dramatic re-telling of a story involving lots of people I don't know and a situation I find stupid, calories in gum, ways to tan leather, how homeostasis is maintained in the body, how kumquats got their name, banking, accounting classes, swine flu, that anecdote I already read on your blog and your facebook and heard from your friend, species of fish in the Indian ocean, the usefulness of one brand of pocketknife over another, llama breeding, advances in envelope technology, how you lost your virginity, faux-clever one-liners stolen from Bravo, faux-clever one-liners you've been repeating all week, shapes that Post-Its come in, uhm... the ingredients of anything I eat, the nuances of Plato's Republic and its effects on Communist/Socialist theory, Make Me a Supermodel, all the plans and ideas you'll never follow through on, Steve Nash unless he's losing, styles of pinstripes, flavors of condoms (though Brunhilda would argue that if one of those flavors were wine, you would probably care), metalsmithing!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

favorite things

huckleberry tea, fresh flowers, sunshine, sprinklers, Starbucks doubleshots

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

learn something new today

The duodecimal of 13 is 1112.

Its hexadecimal is
D16, and its octal is 158.

Also its binary is
11012.

Today is the 13th. That equals: relevance.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

top 5 tuesday

stupid things my friends have talked me out of

5. calling lots of idiots
4. bleaching my hair
3. kissing lots of idiots
2. getting a pixie cut
1. many, many stupid boy decisions

Also dozens if not scores of stupid sartorial choices.

Monday, May 11, 2009

random facts

Chain of knowledge:
Reading NYMag led me to look at pictures of models.
Looking at pictures of models led me to look them up on google.
Google taught me that Eugenia Mandzhieva is Kalmyk.
Not knowing what that meant led me to learn on wiki all about the Kalmyk people.
And that wiki page led me to learn how to build a yurt.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

learn something new today

You can build a yurt!

(And please do.)

random facts

Puffy cheetos are really fun to eat

Friday, May 8, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

66. It's difficult to summarize an essay you never technically read.

things that should be illegal

boys wearing girl jeans

Thursday, May 7, 2009

laudable lyrics

"I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazag-ha."

A true lyric-writing triumph.

lessons I learned the hard way

65. Eating a lot of pizza makes it difficult to lose weight and/or keep weight off.


Damn you cheesy bread!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

learn something new today

"The mirror stage was the subject of Jacques Lacan's first official contribution to psychoanalytic theory (Fourteenth International Psychoanalytical Congress at Marienbad in 1936). He described it in "The Mirror Stage as formative of the function of the I as revealed in psychoanalytic experience", the first of his Écrits. In the early 1950s, he no longer considered it as a moment in the life of the infant, but as representing a permanent structure of subjectivity, the paradigm of the Imaginary order: it is a phase in which the subject is permanently caught and captivated by his own image. The dischronic structure of the theory is much influenced by Alexandre Kojève's interpretation of the master-slave dialectic."

Now you know?

favorite things

hugs, pizza, Coach, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, jeans that fit really well

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

things I thought were impossible

17. wanting an English bulldog as much as I do

top 5 tuesday

fake holidays (centered around alcohol consumption)

5. Eleanor Day (Feb 21--write it down)
3. Fasching
2. Cinco de Mayo
1. St. Patrick's Day

Monday, May 4, 2009

jobs I would not want

Disney princess

While on the one hand this seems like every girl's fantasy job, let's think critically here: you're working one of the hottest states in the nation (that's Florida or California, for those of you whose parents don't love you), probably in Summer, at a kid-centered tourist attraction, in a stupid costume. And despite the heat, exacerbated by many layers of stupid costume (which you probably share with someone whose body odor is unpleasant), you have to "share the magic" with hundred of snot-nosed brats all day, every day while their parents take pictures.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

things that should be illegal

Scheduling a tutoring appointment for the very last time slot of the day, when the writing center is empty and if you weren't here, I'd get to leave early.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

things our grandmother believes

That the sordid details of our grandfather's affair with her, which led to the dissolution of his marriage to our other grandmother, is really just a romantic story everyone wants to hear. And is totally cool with!

Friday, May 1, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

64. You need to drink more water if you choose to exercise at noon on a 70-degree day.

cultural commentary

[From NYMag, 27 April 2009]:

"While we here at Vulture have great respect for the craft of Acting, we also recognize that one can never really appreciate the full extent of a thespian's talents until he acts shirtless. After all, any Actor (with a capital A) worth his salt recognizes that physicality is one of the most difficult traits to translate to audiences. With this in mind, we're fairly certain that the careers of both Hugh Jackman and Matthew McConaughey will go down in history as being two of this era's most cherished talents. So, in honor of next week's box-office showdown between Wolverine and Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, we have decided to take a trip through each of their impressive bodies of work (pun most certainly intended), in an attempt to determine which of these two frequently topless actors reigns supreme."

Thursday, April 30, 2009

guess the show

The most boring person from a show about faux-drama, which itself focuses on a relatively boring character from a different show about faux-drama, gets her own show in a new big-city location, where she works a fake (or possibly "real") job, struggles to adjust to the fact that her coworker isn't her best friend anymore (and is actually a huge bitch), deals with her not-very-into-her Austrialian "boyfriend," and generally sucks interestingness from the screen as she says polite but uninteresting things and sidesteps all confrontation of any kind.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

under-appreciated potential superpowers

lack-of-sleep thrivingness

If you could not only survive but be perfectly content pulling the occasional all-nighter to study, party, and/or watch an SVU marathon, your life and time would be way more flexible!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

top 5 tuesday

coffee shops

5. Panera
4. Forza (where I am now sitting)
3. Cabin Coffee
2. Mandolin Cafe
1. Starbuck

With honorable mentions for the Tully's on Campus Drive, San Francisco Coffee Co, Coffee Fellows, and that place by my old apartment (Rachel will remember it, with the friendly waiter fellow) (Fischer's! I remember now. They don't have a website.). Probably SFCC and that last place would be on the list if they were in the United States, but we have to make difficult decisions on Top 5 Tuesday.

Monday, April 27, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

63. Exhaustion causes moodiness, decreased attention to detal.

(See how I illustrated my point there? Heh heh.)

things I thought were impossible

16. Free ice cream not making me obscenely, lastingly happy.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

62. While it might be possible to get from UVillage to the Muckleshoot Reservation in an hour under certain conditions, those conditions do not occur at 5 PM on a weekday.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

things that should be illegal

sirens in music played on the radio

similarly, phone-like noises and Avril Lavigne on the radio

Friday, April 24, 2009

guess the show

An entitled, over-indulged teen too young to drive rants and raves for a half hour (or 20-ish minutes, with frequent commercial interruptions by Noxema) about her extremely important requirements in the automobile she can't legally drive yet, the dresses her friends are and aren't allowed to wear, the decor in whatever tacky and overpriced venue she's convinced her parents to rent for her, and the over-the-top and ridiculous "theme" of the event, despite the fact that in the real world no one that age still has theme parties (in the real world, that shit doesn't start back up until college), while her parents--who presumably caused her to become this hellion--pretend to be frustrated while also caving in to her every ever-more-insane whim.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

jobs I would not want

Cocktail waitress at "the bar" in a college town

I like drinking well enough and I can handle drunk people for awhile. I could not, however, handle seventy of them every night for six hours. The smell, the sweaty dudes, the vomit, the trashy girls...I'd be annoyed at the end of the first week. The tips would probably suck too because it's college kids.

cultural commentary

(from NYMag Vulture, 3/2/09, "Vicious Nacho Cheese Turf War Breaks Out at ShoWest"):


"Up until this point, there has been one dominant player in the lucrative nacho cheese sector of the concession industry: San Antonio's Rico's Nacho Cheese Sauce company. Rico's is the O.G. of the chip-n-cheese biz, having invented the entire concept of nachos as a concession food (!) way back in 1977. However, an upstart company out of Cincinnati called FUNacho has taken the convention by storm, threatening Rico's dominance of the chip-and-cheese market with their amazing, two-sentence tagline "Tastes Great! Hot or Cold!" And while we're not sure that anyone with an IQ over 80 would ever eat nacho cheese cold, we'll admit that their recession-friendly sales pitch ("We believe that low cost doesn’t have to be low end") is quite stirring."

Also, nachos.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

favorite things

free scoop day at Ben and Jerry's, inappropriate conversations, secrets, saying "secrets don't make friends," tweets

things that should be illegal

tightsaspants

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

top 5(+) tuesday

Spokane restaurants I miss (and might eat when I go there soonish)

6. La Katrina
5. Twigs
4. Hu Hot
3. Northern Lights
2. the Elk
1. the Onion

I feel like I'm missing/forgetting many/several, so add on if you wish.

favorite things

nalgene bottles, rings, long, hot showers, new book smell

Monday, April 20, 2009

random facts

No one likes a tattle tale

guess the show

Guest stars include Will Arnett, Matthew Broderick, Carrie Fischer, Rip Torn, most of the cast of SNL, and Jennifer Aniston. Important plot points in season 2 include Sabor de Soledad, a gay bomb, diabetes repair, Teamster subs, backdoor bragging, and a porn video game. And if you're not watching it, I hate you.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

cultural commentary

(from NY Mag, 3/24/09)

"Much like everyone else out there who watched an unhealthy amount of cable television in the late nineties and early aughts, we spent many a lazy Sunday on the couch glued to VH1 and their seemingly endless Behind the Music marathons. It didn't matter how many times we had heard the stories of Ozzy Osbourne snorting lines of ants or Nikki Sixx recounting the myriad times he overdosed and woke up with a needle still in his arm, we kept finding ourselves tuning in. But around the time that Flavor Flav first started wooing hoodrats, VH1 turned their back on the beloved franchise..."

Saturday, April 18, 2009

laudable lyrics

"Meet me at the altar in your white dress, we ain't getting no younger, we might as well do this."

-Jagged Edge

Friday, April 17, 2009

favorite things

cream-colored ponies and crisp apple streudels, doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles

Thursday, April 16, 2009

stupid jokes

What did the drummer get on his test?

Drool.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

laudable lyrics

"Thunder only happens when it's raining."

Patently untrue, Fleetwood Mac. Though the next line is accurate.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

top 5 tuesday

beers (a la facebook, but less annoying, and subject to change without notice)

5. Manny's
4. Kilkenny
3. Drop Top
2. Blue Moon
1. Augustiner Hell

things our grandmother believes

That 55 is a reasonable speed to drive on any kind of a road, highway, alley, or interstate.

Monday, April 13, 2009

stupid jokes

What do you call people who hang around with musicians?

Drummers.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

cultural commentary

(from the Onion, 3/23/09)

"Parade of Interchangeable Starlets Delights U.S. Populace

HOLLYWOOD, CA—A steady stream of indistinguishable, uniformly beautiful actresses brought excitement and joy to millions of Americans Sunday by donning similarly glamorous dresses that hugged their identical figures and marching past television cameras at consistent intervals. Nielsen ratings revealed more than half the country was transfixed by the procession of loose curls, white teeth, and vapid over-the-shoulder glances by each of the 100 percent transposable starlets. "It's amazing to be here," said any one of the striking females to an army of perky, unmemorable entertainment reporters. "Thank you! I can barely breathe in it. You look beautiful, too. I love your earrings." At the conclusion of the hour-long parade, the homogeneous beauties were handed gold statuettes to honor their near-exact roles in impossible-to-tell-apart motion pictures."

Saturday, April 11, 2009

laudable lyrics

"It was all a dream, I used to read Word Up magazine,"
and
"Birthdays was the worst days, now we sip champagne when we thirst-ay."

For more lyrics worthy of laud, I recommend just reading all the ones to this song.

Friday, April 10, 2009

things I thought were impossible

15. Nyquil not effectively putting someone to sleep for eight hours or more.

cultural commentary

[Lil Wayne on feeling more rock than rap these days, 4/2/09, NYMag via RS via MTV]

"The rock shit just comes from what my life is now. I've grown into this person. I woke up one morning and had three or four women in my bed where I not only didn't know their last names, I didn't know the beginning letter of their first names. All I know is, they're the most beautiful women in the world, and I was in my own place, in whatever city I was in."

Thursday, April 9, 2009

favorite things

high-elasticity hair ties, animal cams, crackers, perfect eyeliner, Steve Madden

learn something new today

The consequences of the Situationist International include post modernism and also Cultural Studies. Like, the field of study.

Now you know.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

61. You are never refreshed enough to be ready to read Marx.

rhetorical question

Is the grass greener on the other side?

cultural commentary

(from nymag.com, 3/23/09)

"We were smart when we picked the Amish to characterize every so often because truly they would never have any idea. Maybe that's cowardly of us, but it works for us. The turnaround time for complaints from the Amish is suitable for a fast-moving TV schedule." —Mindy Kaling on not worrying about backlash regarding Dwight's Amish heritage [WP]

things I thought were impossible

14. That waking up after a delightful nine-hour sleep would not leave me refreshed and ready to read Marx.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

top 5 tuesday

Stupid things that stupid butthead boys do

5. say the worst possible thing at the worst possible time
4. only respond to texts/IMs with monosyllabic or bisyllabic responses (ie. "cool," "yeah," "that sucks," and "haha")
3. kiss other girls
2. don't call you except when they're drunk or looking to get laid
1. be stupid

top 5 tuesday

reasons to drive into town (as they say)

5. to attend class
4. to see some burlesque
3. to shop somewhere cooler
2. trivia (but not at George and the Dragon)
1. slumber parties!

Monday, April 6, 2009

stupid jokes

A fish swims into a wall.

He says, "dam!"

Sunday, April 5, 2009

laudable lyrics

"Email my heart and say our love will stay alive forever."

love in the tech era, courtesy of Britney

Saturday, April 4, 2009

stupid jokes

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

FSH!

Friday, April 3, 2009

random facts

Gummy vitamins make being healthy really easy.

rhetorical questions

Who let the dogs out?

Thursday, April 2, 2009

under-appreciated potential super powers

The ability to magically look good in every photo taken of you.
Even the prettiest girls take wonky photos from time to time. If you're caught off guard and aren't doing that thing that makes your double chin disappear and not crossing your eyes and smiling right, you look super weird and then it goes on facebook and you either have to live with it or untag yourself like an asshole.
But! If every time a picture was taken, your big nose and misshaped eye looked amazing, how convenient would that be?

favorite things

Anything that tastes like bacon. Bacon bacon bacon.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

60. "March comes in like a lion" etc. is just a saying. Not an accurate predictor of weather patterns.

lessons I learned the hard way

59. Mothers do not appreciate cleaning up after you.

quotes of our father

(in response to the Dove commercial that says, "we asked one woman to wash with soap and another to wash with Dove":)

"We asked one woman to wash with soap and another to wash with tar and cat guts. Guess what happened?!"

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

top 5 tuesday

Things to do instead of homework

5. sleep
4. eat
3. watch Food Network
2. work out
1. play Guess Who

signs of cultural implosion VI

That people actually road trip to Forks, that there isn't a Burgerville near Seattle, that Cat Cora continues to be an Iron Chef, Katy Parry's career, that an Irish-ish bar was not packed on St. Paddy's Day, Ann Coulter, the fact that George Takei is in a movie called "Ninja Cheerleaders" which takes place at Strip Palace, that pants that are uncomfortably tight are a "trend," shirtordresses, sweaterdresses, Starbucks instant coffee, that some DQs don't serve chicken strips and gravy, that anyone goes to DQ not intending to purchase a Blizzard, that DQ couldn't sell Blizzards made with frozen yogurt in a country with an obesity rate like ours, the fact that there aren't any non-organic bananas at QFC, that flirting with a waiter and having a lot of cleavage sometimes doesn't get you free drinks (Brunhilda's note: stfu), the new Facebook layout, that we need a website called tightsarenotpants.com because some people evidently don't know that yet, the fact that "Merlin and the War of the Dragons" is a movie, the fact that KMPS is the number-one radio station in Seattle, the fact that I--Brunhilda--am ahead of the curve pop-music wise, that whole shows exist about hairstyling.

things our grandmother believes

That each person in this family has one interest that serves as an acceptable impetus for gift-giving.

Brunhilda: scarves
the Cute One: orange cats
our father: the Simpsons
our mother: Reese's peanutbutter cups

You can see who's making out best every Christmas.

Monday, March 30, 2009

random facts

Being sick makes it really, really difficult to sleep.

cultural commentary

(from Jezebel.com 3/23/09, "Badvertising")

"Lindsay Lohan's Fornarina ad has the production values of an 8-bit animated Bulgarian public TV kids show. From 1981. There are disembodied lips, and Lindsay barks in the flattest delivery since Keanu in Point Break."

Sunday, March 29, 2009

rhetorical questions

How many roads must a man walk down before they can call him a man?

Saturday, March 28, 2009

laudable lyrics

"'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter, and my daddy said, 'stay away from Juliet.'"

thanks for the super logically connected lyrics, and the completely nonsensical literary reference, Taylor Swift

Friday, March 27, 2009

cultural commentary

(from New York Magazine 3/23/09)

"The Internet: A Bad Idea After All.
"In a "Shouts and Murmurs" piece in today's New Yorker, Woody Allen uses the acronym “O.M.G.”"

Thursday, March 26, 2009

lessons I learned the hard way

58. No one else cares about German geography, how you say [words] in German, the coach of the German national soccer team (or its keeper), or random shit you saw in Germany. In fact, most people are not even terribly interested in your life in Germany, even if you can point to your town on a map featured in a major motion picture.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

things our grandmother believes

That your basic, fundamental character is essentially unchanged since you were six years old.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

things I care about more than what you're saying III

The requirements for getting into North Dakota State University, Merlin and the War of the Dragons, scarf-tying techniques, non-twine package tying products, how hot your calves look in your new heels, geography of ancient China, similarly-the geography of modern China, the super-hot girl/guy you met in the bar the other night but didn't exchange contact info with, your sexual fantasies if I am not in a sexual relationship with you, Freud, centripetal v. centrifugal motion, physics, smelting techniques, your mom's secret ingredients for mac and cheese, affected British accents, anecdotes from Kindergarten, dental hygiene, the occasional use of thee and thou in a movie, basket-weaving techniques, the many treatments for cold sores and/or yeast infections (and foot fungus), hypothetical breeds of dragon, what you would have "totally done better" if you were performing that floor routine/filming that movie/writing that novel even though you've never done any of those things well enough to be at a level other people would critique, anything related to accountancy.

top 5 tuesday

Seattle radio stations

5. 93.3 (because the on-air personalities are way less annoying than some alternatives)
4. 94.5 (for playing popular music minus the commercials)
3. 90.9 (for having a way better mix than most)
2. 89.5 (for having new stuff before anyone else and having good online listening options)
1. 95.7 KJR (for consistent goodness and a high ratio of Heart to other stuff)

Honorable mentions go to 92.5 because I know a kid who works there, 104.5 for sometimes playing actual oldies, 97.7 for playing good classic rock, and 96.5 except for its obnoxious promos.

Monday, March 23, 2009

favorite things

Rick Steves, the Czech Republic, fmylife.com, group power class at the community center, guacamole