Friday, November 28, 2008

laudable lyrics

"Never trust a big butt and a smile."

Thursday, November 27, 2008

lessons I learned the hard way

28. There is no possible way to say no to seconds of stuffing, no matter how full you are.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

random facts

Brunhilda isn't allowed to cook because she is busy eating clam dip

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

top 5 tuesday

reasons Thanksgiving is awesome

5. family, giving Thanks, etc.
4. turkey
3. gravy
2. stuffing
1. mashed potatoes

random facts

I am not allowed to help cook during Thanksgiving dinner.

Monday, November 24, 2008

signs of cultural implosion V

6-year-olds who carry purses, 185 dollars for a sweater vest at Macy's, The Real Housewives of Atlanta, that a real housewife of Atlanta bought her 11-year-old daughter two $13,000 purses, that purses could possibly sell for $13,000, that an 11 year old would know what the hell Louis Vuitton is, over Parent's Weekend at my school more boyfriends visited than parents, LOST season 5 hasn't started yet, that some people don't know whether Beliz is in South America, Asia, Africa or Europe, that the Onion world atlas is the only one we own, the fact that owning said atlas makes us the cultural elite, Madonna's face, that anyone drinks Mountain Dew for the flavor

Sunday, November 23, 2008

things I thought were impossible

8. That I could wear a white sweater out and not spill a single thing on it.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

favorite things

I am posting some favorite things too
for fun

Mini pumpkins, warm blankets, Polaroids, colors

hell yeah

favorite things

(Another new feature, in which we make like Oprah [Borpo?] and feature things we love.)

Calypso, paisley, Chinese checkers, sweater capes.

Friday, November 21, 2008

under-appreciated potential superpowers

time flexing

For when you need a couple of extra hours in the evening to grade a batch of papers and for when you'd like to speed up an interminable lecture. Equally beneficial! If you could treat time like a rubber band and stretch it or bunch it up as needed, you wouldn't have to bother with the real-life power of time management. Because that one is impossible.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

cultural commentary

(From the New York Times review of Jimmy Buffett's A Salty Piece of Land, by Kinky Freedman, 28 November 2004)

"There is a fine line between fiction and nonfiction, and I believe Jimmy Buffett and I snorted it in 1976. The two of us are among the few musicians in the Western world who make a regular habit of writing prose, which may also explain why this newspaper decided upon me to review this book rather than, say, Philip Roth. Maybe it was God who selected me to review Buffett's book."

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

laudable lyrics

(A new BandtheCO feature in which we feature, what else, laudable lyrics.)

"Your body ain't Pamela Anderson; it's a struggle just to get you in the caravan.
But listen, baby girl: before I let you lose a pound, I'll buy a bigger car."

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

jobs I would not want

location scout: Ice Road Truckers

Just because if your job were scouting locations for the show Ice Road Truckers, you would be in an inhospitable, cold, miserable environment deciding if it were inhospitable, cold, and miserable enough to make for quality Discovery Channel programming. In Antarctica. On ice.

top 5 tuesday

Things to do instead of homework

5. Spend time with the cute boys downstairs
4. Eat a bagel
3. desperately attempt to reach 50,000 words for National Novel Writing Month
2. Facebook
1. Sleep

yeah...this is what I did today

Sunday, November 16, 2008

lessons I learned the hard way

27. Coffee shops are only good places to NaNo until you discover that they have free WiFi. And you discover this.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

random fact(s)

Related random facts:

Chickens like to be let out at dawn.

Since daylight savings, dawn has been earlier than you'd think.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Thursday, November 13, 2008

lessons I learned the hard way

23. The Cute One does not know how to count.

random facts

I completely missed the season of Top Chef that happened in Chicago. Literally did not realize it had happened.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

rhetorical questions

Who, me?

rhetorical questions

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?

lessons I learned the hard way

26. 90 minutes of yoga + 105 degree room = horrible, horrible situation

Maybe that should have been self evident.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

random facts

Boys are confusing and I don't appreciate it at all

top 5 tuesday

stuff to do on Veteran's Day:

5. visit the mall (or "mall" in our case)
4. browse at Borders
3. sleep in
2. stroll along the waterfront
1. sip a coffee with my Dad

Monday, November 10, 2008

lessons I learned the hard way

25. Pizza, Taco Time, soda, and brownies all in one day do not a happy tummy make, particularly when you normally subsist on coffee products.

Friday, November 7, 2008

rhetorical questions

What did your face look like before you were born?

Thursday, November 6, 2008

lessons I learned the hard way

24) Trash needs to be taken out before it becomes sentient

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

guess the show

Stranded people on desert island dealing with ridiculously soapy relationships, the haunting effects of their lives before the accident, magnetic fields, polar bears!, holes in the ground, random numbers--that aren't so random?!--, crankiness, dirt in large supply, lots of (evidently unprotected) sex, all the people you like dying, a weird science experiment, and disgruntled fans who don't like the direction in which it's all headed.

jobs I would not want

Fox News Anchor

...about three hours ago.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

top 5 tuesday

winners of the category: Silver Fox

5. Burt Reynolds
4. Tim Gunn
3. George Clooney
2. Anderson Cooper
1. Joe Biden

things I thought were impossible

7) That I would be on track for National Novel Writing Month...

Monday, November 3, 2008

under-appreciated potential superpowers

The ability to conjugate verbs in foreign languages

think of how much money you could make tutoring...

Saturday, November 1, 2008

signs of cultural implosion IV

That a VP impersonator would make a better VP than the candidate herself, that someone like Sarah Palin can identify as a feminist, tofurkey, that people are STILL super into dressing as Jack Sparrow for Halloween, people who dress up like animals for pleasure, this phrase "I'm in Econ 482, Intro to Wu Tang Economy," that High School Musical 3 opened in theaters, that High School Musical 3 is popular enough to be released in theaters (spooky--we are psychic), Zack Effron having a following even though he is a) orange and b) wears more makeup more often that I do, that Beverly Hills Chihuahua was the number one movie in America, Britney's misuse of the word "womanizer", that people dare to eat ham on thanksgiving, christmas decorations out before halloween, Kath and Kim, purity pledges, children's-sized thong underwear.