random fact

Our father and I would be really excellent song writers.

quotes of our father

"I think it's over 6000 feet, so the sun up there is really intense.

So are the campers!"

lessons I learned the hard way

87. Kissing a lot of boys who are in the same friend group often creates awkward situations for everyone.

back-door bragging

[via Brunhilda]:

"The problem with being a natural beauty is that even when you go out without makeup, you can't get people to stop noticing how pretty you are."

favorite things

hard-boiled eggs, HP+HBP, learning to roll, driving fast

laudable lyrics

"Got you all fired up with your Napoleon complex
See right through you like you’re bathin’ in Windex."

Mariah's songwriters really are masters of the genre.

top 5 tuesday

Things I miss about college

5. the awesome gym that I could access (if I ever felt like it)
4. my friends
3. the library that reminds me distinctly of Hogwarts
2. the huge lawns to lay out on
1. the independence

top 5 tuesday

things I miss about college

5. having a meal plan
4. free basketball tickets
3. keggers
2. everyone living within walking distance (makes walks of shame SO MUCH easier)
1. Erroll Knight*


*this is creepy in part because I actually talk to him sometimes.

stupid jokes

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

Nacho cheese!

lessons I learned the hard way

86. I am really bad about remembering the sunscreen lesson.

favorite things

SPACE JAM

favorite things

Deutschland, cheap travel, German boys, winning in poker, Haribo (macht Kinder froh!)

random facts

Fish and Chips are really good

lessons I learned the hard way

85. Stalking is not a good way to endear yourself to someone.

back-door bragging

[via a friend on fbook, via probably someone else]:

"I wish I had been born rich instead of so good looking."

laudable lyrics

"I'm so 3008
You so 2000 and late"

Does that sound a little like they meant to release that song in 2008 and then didn't make it, and thus had to change the year in the lyrics? Yeah. Sounds that way to me, too.

(Also, that's the last one from that song, I promise.)

top 5 tuesday

places in which I would like to someday live

5. Greece
4. Hawaii
3. Spain
2. Oregon (more because that's planned than because it's the stuff of dreams, really)
1. München (/Deutschland in general)

Also maybe London, Prahaha, Berlin, Paris, NYC, Chicago, and other fun places. But I prioritized places where siesta is a part of life, as you can see.

(also, fun game: spot the split infinitive!)

back-door bragging

[via Kenneth Parcell]:

"It's hard for me to watch American Idol because there's a waterbug on the channel changer. Wait..."

back-door bragging

[via Jenna Maroney]:

"It's hard for me to watch American Idol because I have perfect pitch."

lessons I learned the hard way

84: Brunhilda is an asshole because she flies to Germany randomly because she can.



asshole

under-appreciated potential super power

To understand all languages on earth.

It's like a reverse tower of Babel!
You would be okay no matter where on Earth you accidentally ended up thanks to your spontaneous teleporting abilities which manifested after you fell in that vat of radio-active waste.
Oops.

back-door bragging

[via the Cute One]:

It's hard for me to find dresses that don't show off my awesome boobs too much.

laudable lyrics

"Them chickens jackin' my swagger
They try copy my swagger
I'm on that next shit now"

Again, well done, Black Eyed Peas.

back-door bragging

[via Brunhilda]:

"It's hard for me to wear headbands because my hair is so thick and heavy."

favorite things

Scrubs, muffins, having good looking guys in my class so I have something to look at when I'm not paying attention, eating brownie batter

top 5 tuesday

races I would like to run

5. Bay to Breakers
4. Torchlight
3. Disneyland half marathon (for the location, not the distance)
2. Beat the Bridge
1. Bolder Boulder

random facts

Sometimes sleep studies ARE necessary and can't just be ignored, Mom

laudable lyrics

"Boom boom boom (yeah)
Boom boom boom (yeah)
Boom boom boom
Boom boom boom"

Masterful, really.

stupid jokes

Q: Why is it such a good deal to buy used French tanks?

A: They've only been driven backwards!

(You know, because they surrender so much.)

lessons I learned the hard way

83. Just because you got an awesome tan in Croatia last summer does not mean you will just tan again this summer because, remember, you burned HARDCORE last year before it settled into a vague semblance of healthy color. Wear some sunscreen.

things that should be illegal

people who like to be active injuring themselves while doing active things and subsequently being unable to be active for some period of time, particularly permanently

stupid jokes

Q: What's the most common war injury among French troops?

A: Sunburned armpits.

(You know, from surrendering so much.)

back-door bragging

I am not good at criticizing other people because of my kind and caring nature.

back-door bragging

Welcome to the new feature in which we share the delightfully bratty things we say to indirectly remind everyone how amazing we are while coming off modest. We'd say we're sure you'll like it, but sometimes our brand of humor is too cleverly subtle for widespread public appreciation.

lessons I learned the hard way

82. Lunges and running are not necessarily mutually exclusive, but they're also not BFFs.

cultural commentary

[from NYMag, by Chris Rovzar, 6/28/09]:

"From 6 p.m. onward, when the news of Jackson's health crisis began to spread, CNN began to pull ahead of Fox News, eventually clobbering it by a million viewers in the 8 to 11 p.m. hours. Of course, that just might be because people expect some (but not all) of CNN's anchors to have, at one point or another in their lives, actually enjoyed a song by Michael Jackson."

things that should be illegal

the USA network playing WWE when people want to watch SVU

also Law and Order: CI, reruns of House I've already seen, and lame movies

top 5 tuesday

Other stuff I want in my much cooler and more awesome hypothetical future home

5. Tower and / or observatory
4. Spiral staircase
3. Secret passages
2. Hidden library
1. Beer closet

(I know it's not English but the point is, AWESOME)

top 5 tuesday

Things I want in my future hypothetical house

5. Aprons
4. These measuring cups
3. Wonderful, fancy beds
2. A puppy
1. A motherfucking Kitchen Aid mixer


awesome

lessons I learned the hard way

81. When a dude you haven't talked to lately comes out of the woodwork with flattery and chatty conversation, he always, always just broke up with his girlfriend. His intentions are never, never pure.

top 5 tuesday

stuff I want in my future, hypothetical home

5. low-flush and/or graywater toilets
4. high-water- pressure shower heads
3. comfy chairs all over
2. enormous windows (∴ lots of natural light)
1. a loft

lessons I learned the hard way

80. Injuries do not magically go away when left untreated.

random facts

tweeting about the Jonas Brothers = being followed by the Jonas Bros Twitter fan club
and
tweeting about your rage at Qwest Field's vertical ID policy = being followed by Qwest customer service

learn something new today

A croquembouche or croquenbouche is a French dessert, a kind of pièce montée often served at weddings, baptisms, and first communions. It is a high cone of profiteroles (choux filled with pastry cream) bound with caramel, and usually decorated with threads of caramel, sugared almonds, chocolate, flowers, or ribbons.

The name comes from the French words 'Croque en bouche' meaning 'crunch in the mouth'.

things I thought were impossible

20. People distinguishing the Pride Parade from a regular ol' Tuesday on Capitol Hill.

random facts

kitties are SUPER cute, especially when they're fat!

rhetorical questions

Did I do that?

guess the show

A woman famous more or less only for existing (and perhaps sullying her family name) hosts a competition centered around fake-tanned, trendily-dressed young adults without any sense of shame whatsoever competing to... be her best friend (?), based on the incredible success her previous BFFships have had (both in terms of actual friendship and lasting success and fame for the other party), including an ostensibly real one chronicled on a different reality TV show and a fake one on the prior season of this show and also her now-much-less-famous sibling, all of which did not seem to lead to lasting BFFship.

random facts

This is my new favorite website. It has all the info I could ever need about my favorite topic!

things that should be illegal

the large, drunk guy lip syncing to EVERY song played at the Taste of Tacoma

jobs I would not want

tanning salon attendant

Because the benefits aren't that awesome and the clientele would leave something to be desired. Like, everything. And the pay isn't so great that you couldn't find something less boring and superficial.

favorite things

Safety Dances, Aloe on a sunburn, Not getting sunburns in the first place,

things that should be illegal

people who do not run not being properly impressed by someone's half-marathon success