things I thought were impossible

10. That I would one day be able to drive safely in weather.

random facts

There are more tattoos per capita on the West coast than elsewhere in the United States.

top 5 tuesday

bitchy women in Real Housewives of Orange County

5. Lynne's other daughter
4. Jeana
3. Lynne's daughter Raquel
2. Tamra
1. Vicki

But the amount that Vicki is bitchy over the number two bitchiest woman on the list is enormous. Exponential. Huge.

top 5 tuesday

Top 5 Tuesday: Things I laugh at

5. drunk texts
4. xkcd
3. My sister, Bruno
2. Kittens doing funny things
1. Rock of Love 3: Bus



ahahahaha

stupid jokes

"Hey should we get to a vet?" [flash biceps] "Because these puppies are sick!"

random facts

23 > 22

learn something new today

"Carpaccio is a dish of raw beef, veal or tuna traditionally thinly sliced or pounded thin served as an appetizer."

random facts

Watching the Food Network, Brunhilda does not understand any words being said.

lessons I learned the hard way

38. Shoes that are comfortable for walking and sitting are not necessarily going to remain comfortable after four hours of dancing.

guess the show

An aging rocker (who is desperately trying to hide that he is balding) invites 20 women into his home to compete for his affection. Some are strippers. Lots of platform heels, dyed hair/weaves, mini dresses, fake boobs and, of course, tramp stamps. There are dramatic elimination ceremonies in which women have crying exit interviews and always say "I just don't understand why he would do this to me." He eventually chooses one of the less skanky women only to return for another season eight months later.

cultural commentary

(from New York Magazine, 9/5/08, as a preface to a slide show of hot pictures of the subject, by Chris Rovzar and Jessica Pressler):

"It's been a full 48 hours since we last gushed about Levi "Sex on Skates" Johnston. We were going to try to make it through the whole weekend, but seeing him in the audience at the Republican National Convention last night was just too much to bear. He wasn't even chewing gum this time! That chin! That freshly cropped boy hair! He is truly in the most glorious peak of a high-school athlete's hot period. Sure, shortly after he graduates he will get a beer gut and lose those curls. In a few short years he'll be nearly unrecognizable! (We know that's harsh, but think back to all those boys who wore white college hats in your high-school days. Are they hot now? Or did the same thing happen to them that happened to Vince Vaughn?)"

under-appreciated potential superpowers

magical metabolism

Because you could metabolize both food and alcohol and not suffer ill consequences! And that would make the holidays truly bright.

lessons I learned the hard way

37. A little Jack in the Box goes a long way.

quotes of our father

When asked what he would do if a guy asked for Brunhilda's hand in marriage.

"Maybe you should talk to her about that."

lessons I learned the hard way

36. No matter how much you like being single, you'll really start to hate it when stuck in a large group of couples.