rhetorical question

Is the grass greener on the other side?

cultural commentary

(from nymag.com, 3/23/09)

"We were smart when we picked the Amish to characterize every so often because truly they would never have any idea. Maybe that's cowardly of us, but it works for us. The turnaround time for complaints from the Amish is suitable for a fast-moving TV schedule." —Mindy Kaling on not worrying about backlash regarding Dwight's Amish heritage [WP]

things I thought were impossible

14. That waking up after a delightful nine-hour sleep would not leave me refreshed and ready to read Marx.

top 5 tuesday

Stupid things that stupid butthead boys do

5. say the worst possible thing at the worst possible time
4. only respond to texts/IMs with monosyllabic or bisyllabic responses (ie. "cool," "yeah," "that sucks," and "haha")
3. kiss other girls
2. don't call you except when they're drunk or looking to get laid
1. be stupid

top 5 tuesday

reasons to drive into town (as they say)

5. to attend class
4. to see some burlesque
3. to shop somewhere cooler
2. trivia (but not at George and the Dragon)
1. slumber parties!

stupid jokes

A fish swims into a wall.

He says, "dam!"

laudable lyrics

"Email my heart and say our love will stay alive forever."

love in the tech era, courtesy of Britney

stupid jokes

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

FSH!

random facts

Gummy vitamins make being healthy really easy.

rhetorical questions

Who let the dogs out?

under-appreciated potential super powers

The ability to magically look good in every photo taken of you.
Even the prettiest girls take wonky photos from time to time. If you're caught off guard and aren't doing that thing that makes your double chin disappear and not crossing your eyes and smiling right, you look super weird and then it goes on facebook and you either have to live with it or untag yourself like an asshole.
But! If every time a picture was taken, your big nose and misshaped eye looked amazing, how convenient would that be?

favorite things

Anything that tastes like bacon. Bacon bacon bacon.

lessons I learned the hard way

60. "March comes in like a lion" etc. is just a saying. Not an accurate predictor of weather patterns.

lessons I learned the hard way

59. Mothers do not appreciate cleaning up after you.

quotes of our father

(in response to the Dove commercial that says, "we asked one woman to wash with soap and another to wash with Dove":)

"We asked one woman to wash with soap and another to wash with tar and cat guts. Guess what happened?!"