things I thought were impossible

18. That $12.75/hour would not be enough money to make me do something.

things I care about more than what you're saying V

Your boyfriend's circumcision status, any other details of his or any other dude's genitalia, anyone's child's digestive tendencies, your facebooks stats (number of photos you're in, number of friends you have, etc), what brand of nail polish you buy, how amazing you are at applying mascara/eyeliner, how you and your friend once wore matching outfits and it was SO funny ha ha (read: Brunhilda's whole life), that lady who invented Spanx, official shades of blonde, that crazy drink you made up but can't exactly remember, your attempts to remember said drink, "musculature," diet versions of delicious things that probably were better left alone, how well you did on midterms, your percent grade in a class, how to raise pet rats, how google really works, the safe nalgenes vs. the non-safe ones, anything about binary notation except that one joke I like, why you're so into Macs, business, beeswax, the secret life of bees.

lessons I learned the hard way

70. There ain't no sunshine when you're gone

guess the show

In this sadly-no-longer-on-TV delight, a man (dude, perhaps, would be more appropriate) takes four ladies (also not an accurate descriptor, for the most part) on a multi-part "date" consisting of a mix of activities and gossip time, during which he winnows his group down to the one he "best connects with" through three evenly-spaced eliminations, even though the audience knows that by that he means "would rather take home after filming."

random facts

putting wine in your nalgene makes all following water taste a little bit like wine...


good thing or bad thing, you decide.

lessons I learned the hard way

69. There are only ten weeks in a quarter.

cultural commentary

There is a show on Spike TV called MANswers

one of the questions was "who puts out most? straight, lesbian or bi girls?"

random facts

I have developed a Pavlovian response to turning off my car, which is a desperate, immediate need to pee.

things that should be illegal

cliffhangers on episodes of shows I only see occasionally

cultural commentary

[Justin Long on taking a job as the Mac Guy, 5/20/09 via NY Mag via People]

"I made the mistake of vocalizing it to a friend. I was like 'Do you think people would lose respect or I'd be a commercial guy or I'd be selling out in any way?' And I'll never forget, my friend who I love goes 'No offense, dude, but what are you selling out? Herbie Fully Loaded? You're not Johnny Depp, all right? So take it easy.' And you need those moments that bring you down to earth."

top 5 tuesdays

warm weather activities to be completed while trapped on campus during a long weekend that everyone has left for

5. lay in the sun and read/nap
4. barbecue with friends
3. go for walks
2. play volleyball and/or frisbee on the lawn
1. eat ice cream (or a slurpee) while discussing favorite brands of beer

under-appreciated potential superpowers

extra-human strength

possibly not under appreciated at all, now that I think about it

guess the show

A group of four urban dwellers marginally (if at all) more interesting or attractive than you or I goes about their daily business, which is probably not any more interesting than anyone else's, and nothing happens (funny or otherwise).

lessons I learned the hard way

68. It is easier to travel when Kirsten plans everything for you.

things that should be illegal

Nick the Neighbor Kid getting his boating license

Especially since he just admitted on facebook that he has failed the licensing exam five times. And one of his friends gave him cheating tips. Yeah.

lessons I learned the hard way

67. It's better to make artichoke dip not from actual, whole, raw artichokes.

cultural commentary

[from NYMag 5/20/09]:

"Remember when The Real World: Brooklyn launched and everyone, including MTV executives, seemed determined to re-brand the show as something other than a dozen or so episodes of drunken hot-tub orgies and meathead fistfights? Yeah, well, you can just go ahead and pretend that little experiment never happened: The Real World: Cancun launches on June 24."

rhetorical questions

Is the drawbridge open or closed?

top 5 tuesday

Delicious Desserts I like to eat

5. crepes
4. Ben&Jerry's Half Baked ice cream
3. warm cookies
2. brownie batter
1. giant cookies covered in ice cream and hot fudge and delicious things like that

Holy shit!

top 5 tuesday

desserts

5. creme brulee
4. gelato
3. tiramisu (the boozy kind)
2. chocolate volcano cake
1. beer

also any combination of ice cream, chocolate product, baked-goods base, caramel sauce, and fruit garnish. And also cheesecake. And espresso.

things that should be illegal

the Cute One's face

laudable lyrics

"My flow so tight and my beat so sick, Chris Brown should get his ass kicked."

At least controversial, hm?

things I care about more

The exciting plot twist in your favorite TV show, any dramatic re-telling of a story involving lots of people I don't know and a situation I find stupid, calories in gum, ways to tan leather, how homeostasis is maintained in the body, how kumquats got their name, banking, accounting classes, swine flu, that anecdote I already read on your blog and your facebook and heard from your friend, species of fish in the Indian ocean, the usefulness of one brand of pocketknife over another, llama breeding, advances in envelope technology, how you lost your virginity, faux-clever one-liners stolen from Bravo, faux-clever one-liners you've been repeating all week, shapes that Post-Its come in, uhm... the ingredients of anything I eat, the nuances of Plato's Republic and its effects on Communist/Socialist theory, Make Me a Supermodel, all the plans and ideas you'll never follow through on, Steve Nash unless he's losing, styles of pinstripes, flavors of condoms (though Brunhilda would argue that if one of those flavors were wine, you would probably care), metalsmithing!

favorite things

huckleberry tea, fresh flowers, sunshine, sprinklers, Starbucks doubleshots

learn something new today

The duodecimal of 13 is 11_12.

Its hexadecimal is D₁₆, and its octal is 15₈.

Also its binary is 1101_2.

Today is the 13th. That equals: relevance.

top 5 tuesday

stupid things my friends have talked me out of

5. calling lots of idiots
4. bleaching my hair
3. kissing lots of idiots
2. getting a pixie cut
1. many, many stupid boy decisions

Also dozens if not scores of stupid sartorial choices.

random facts

Chain of knowledge:
Reading NYMag led me to look at pictures of models.
Looking at pictures of models led me to look them up on google.
Google taught me that Eugenia Mandzhieva is Kalmyk.
Not knowing what that meant led me to learn on wiki all about the Kalmyk people.
And that wiki page led me to learn how to build a yurt.

learn something new today

You can build a yurt!

(And please do.)

random facts

Puffy cheetos are really fun to eat

lessons I learned the hard way

66. It's difficult to summarize an essay you never technically read.

things that should be illegal

boys wearing girl jeans

laudable lyrics

"I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazag-ha."

A true lyric-writing triumph.

lessons I learned the hard way

65. Eating a lot of pizza makes it difficult to lose weight and/or keep weight off.


Damn you cheesy bread!

learn something new today

"The mirror stage was the subject of Jacques Lacan's first official contribution to psychoanalytic theory (Fourteenth International Psychoanalytical Congress at Marienbad in 1936). He described it in "The Mirror Stage as formative of the function of the I as revealed in psychoanalytic experience", the first of his Écrits. In the early 1950s, he no longer considered it as a moment in the life of the infant, but as representing a permanent structure of subjectivity, the paradigm of the Imaginary order: it is a phase in which the subject is permanently caught and captivated by his own image. The dischronic structure of the theory is much influenced by Alexandre Kojève's interpretation of the master-slave dialectic."

Now you know?

favorite things

hugs, pizza, Coach, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, jeans that fit really well

things I thought were impossible

17. wanting an English bulldog as much as I do

top 5 tuesday

fake holidays (centered around alcohol consumption)

5. Eleanor Day (Feb 21--write it down)

4. Weiberfasching

3. Fasching

2. Cinco de Mayo

1. St. Patrick's Day

jobs I would not want

Disney princess

While on the one hand this seems like every girl's fantasy job, let's think critically here: you're working one of the hottest states in the nation (that's Florida or California, for those of you whose parents don't love you), probably in Summer, at a kid-centered tourist attraction, in a stupid costume. And despite the heat, exacerbated by many layers of stupid costume (which you probably share with someone whose body odor is unpleasant), you have to "share the magic" with hundred of snot-nosed brats all day, every day while their parents take pictures.

things that should be illegal

Scheduling a tutoring appointment for the very last time slot of the day, when the writing center is empty and if you weren't here, I'd get to leave early.

things our grandmother believes

That the sordid details of our grandfather's affair with her, which led to the dissolution of his marriage to our other grandmother, is really just a romantic story everyone wants to hear. And is totally cool with!

lessons I learned the hard way

64. You need to drink more water if you choose to exercise at noon on a 70-degree day.

cultural commentary

[From NYMag, 27 April 2009]:

"While we here at Vulture have great respect for the craft of Acting, we also recognize that one can never really appreciate the full extent of a thespian's talents until he acts shirtless. After all, any Actor (with a capital A) worth his salt recognizes that physicality is one of the most difficult traits to translate to audiences. With this in mind, we're fairly certain that the careers of both Hugh Jackman and Matthew McConaughey will go down in history as being two of this era's most cherished talents. So, in honor of next week's box-office showdown between Wolverine and Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, we have decided to take a trip through each of their impressive bodies of work (pun most certainly intended), in an attempt to determine which of these two frequently topless actors reigns supreme."